Knowing What You Want in a Relationship: The Importance and How to Get There
Are you tired of dating the wrong people, wasting your time, and ending up heartbroken? Do you often find yourself in relationships that don’t match your expectations?
The solution may be simple: know what you want in a relationship. It sounds easy, but sometimes we get lost in the moment and forget to take a step back to truly evaluate our desires and needs.
In this article, we’ll explore why it’s essential to know what you want in a relationship, and we’ll provide you with tools to help you determine your relationship goals.
Importance of Knowing What You Want in a Relationship
There’s no right or wrong answer when it comes to what we want in a relationship. Everyone has different standards when it comes to their ideal partner and relationship.
Knowing what you want in a relationship helps you set standards that align with your values and needs. Having standards communicates to your partner what you expect in a relationship and what you’re willing to accept.
Relationships require emotional and mental intimacy, chemistry, and compatibility. These things take time to build and require effort.
When you know what you want in a relationship, you can avoid indecisiveness, incompatible standards, and time-wasting. Knowing what you want will help you identify red flags quickly, avoid wrong relationships, and make better decisions.
Questions to Ask Yourself to Determine What You Want in a Relationship
Relationship as Partnership or Individual Space
Do you prefer a relationship where you share everything, spend all your free time together, or a relationship that leaves you with a little individual space? Many couples have different opinions on what a partnership should look like and how much space each person needs.
Traditional Roles
- Are you concerned with traditional roles in a relationship?
- Does it bother you if your partner earns more money than you, becomes your boss, or is in charge of finances?
- Are you concerned with the power struggle that comes with each partner’s corporate ladder?
Need for Individual Time
Do you value independence, or do you prefer leaning on your partner for support? Do you feel comfortable doing things alone, or do you need your partner to be there?
Establishing independence in a relationship can help prevent co-dependency and ensure each person has time for personal growth and development.
Sharing Finances
Is money a deal-breaker for you? Do you want to keep your finances separate from your partner, or are you comfortable deciding together how to spend your money?
Lack of clarity around finances can lead to conflict and resentment in the relationship.
Public Display of Affection (PDA)
Do you feel comfortable holding hands, hugging, or kissing in public? Are you offended when your partner rejects your PDA advances?
Physical closeness is fundamental, but opinions on PDA can differ in a relationship.
Importance of Financial Stability
Do you consider a partner’s financial stability when deciding on a relationship? Do you need someone who’s financially stable to provide for you, or is financial stability a personal goal for a successful partnership?
Dependence or Independence in a Relationship
Do you feel like you need your partner for everything? Can you make decisions on your own, or do you need constant support?
Establishing a balance between dependence and independence can strengthen a relationship and is helpful when making decisions together.
Disciplinarian for Children
When it comes to children, who is the disciplinarian? Are you both expected to share this role, or does one partner take the lead?
Traditional beliefs can come into play with this question, and it’s essential to be on the same page.
Importance of Family
Is family important to you? Do you have a specific idea of what family values should look like in your relationship?
Being on the same page regarding family can help prevent misery and compromise.
Roles in Decision-Making
Do you prefer to be the one steering the ship, or are you comfortable taking a backseat in decision-making? Differences in decision-making can lead to a power struggle in a relationship.
Saving Habits
Are you a spender or a saver? Do you have opposing views on how to save and spend money?
Financial compatibility is essential in a relationship and is a factor that needs to be discussed.
Retirement Funds or Living in the Moment
Are you considering retirement funds, or is living in the moment your priority? Each person may have different goals and priorities when it comes to finances, and these need to align in a relationship.
Quality Time
Do you feel neglected and resentful when your partner has little time for you, or are you independent enough to maintain a relationship with little time together? Being on the same page regarding quality time expectations can strengthen a relationship.
Adoration vs. Balanced Love
Do you want your partner to idolize you, or are you comfortable with a balanced love?
Too much adoration can be uncomfortable, but not enough can elicit feelings of neglect.
Doing Things Together or Alone
Do you prefer doing things together or are you comfortable doing things alone? Compatibility in hobbies and interests can strengthen a relationship.
Casual vs. Long-term Relationship
Are you looking for something casual or a long-term commitment?
Being upfront about your expectations can save time and misunderstandings down the road.
Friendships vs. Sexual Relationships
Are you contemplating transitioning from friendship to a sexual relationship, or are you comfortable with the current friendship? Entering a sexual relationship can have adverse effects on an existing friendship.
Sensitivity of a Partner
Do you have a highly sensitive partner, and how does that affect your relationship? Do you have a preference for a specific touch, like a feminine touch?
Bad Boy vs. Good Guy
Are you attracted to a bad boy, or do you prefer the good guy?
Bad boys often show unchanging behaviors that attract some people while repelling others. Choosing between the two is a personal choice.
Listener vs. Active Participant
Do you prefer your partner to be an active participant in conversations, or do you just want them to listen?
Having a partner that validates and brings out the best in you can strengthen a relationship.
Stay-at-Home Partner
Do you prefer traditional norms where one partner is the breadwinner, or are you comfortable with a less ambitious partner that stays at home? Differences in ambitions may lead to exhaustion and resentment.
Opposing Beliefs
Do you have personal beliefs that may conflict with your partner, and how does it affect your relationship? Belief systems are crucial and can be deal-breakers.
Temperamental Partner
Does your partner have anxieties, panic attacks, or anger issues? How does that affect your relationship?
Knowing how to handle a partner’s anxieties can help prevent conflict.
Communication Styles
Do you or your partner have a confrontational or non-communicative communication style? How do you handle conflict in a relationship, and how do you ensure both partners feel heard?
Communication plays an integral role in a relationship and needs to be addressed.
Conclusion
Knowing what you want in a relationship is essential for making better decisions, establishing compatibility, and avoiding wrong relationships. Evaluating your relationship needs and desires takes time and effort, but getting there is critical.
Answering the questions above and reflecting on what you desire in a relationship can help you set standards and align with them, ensuring a happy, long-lasting relationship. In conclusion, knowing what you want in a relationship is critical for establishing compatibility, avoiding wrong relationships, and making better decisions.
By asking yourself the questions outlined in this article and reflecting on your needs and desires, you can establish standards that align with your values. Doing so ensures a happy, long-lasting relationship that meets your expectations.
So take the time to evaluate your desires, reflect on your needs, and establish compatibility to find the relationship that works best for you.
