Surviving Military Relationships: Lessons Learned from Dating a Military Man


Dating Military Men: What You Need to Know

Are you considering dating a military man or already in a relationship with one? Whether you’re a first-time military significant other (MilSo) or an experienced one, we know that it isn’t easy.

From job commitments to communication challenges, military relationships come with unique hurdles and rewards. In this article, we’re going to explore the lessons we’ve learned from dating military men.

We’ll talk about how to navigate communication gaps during deployment, how to cope with PTSD, and how to find support from your fellow MilSos. Let’s get started!

The Difficulty of Limited Communication

When you’re dating a military man, it’s not uncommon to go long periods without hearing from him. Work commitments and deployment can make it difficult for him to pick up the phone or answer messages.

The key to surviving this stage is finding alternative ways to communicate. Love letters are an old-fashioned way of staying connected, but they’re still romantic and practical.

Write a letter expressing your love, care, and support. Having something tangible to hold onto when you’re missing your special someone can be a source of comfort.

The Challenges of Deployment

Deployment is often an inevitable part of being in a relationship with a military man. Whether your partner is infantry or a POG (Person other than Grunt), there’s always a risk of injury or the uncertainty of where they are.

When you’re dating a military man, you need to be prepared to navigate this challenge. During deployment, you need to be patient, understanding, and forgiving.

It’s easy to become frustrated or mad at your partner over missed calls or forgotten promises, but life in the military comes with no guarantees. War shock is also something to be wary of, as it can cause changes in your partner’s behavior when they return from a war zone.


Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a real and serious issue that needs to be addressed if it ever occurs in your relationship. Symptoms can range from anxiety, depression, insomnia, flashbacks, and social withdrawal.

It’s essential to seek professional help if you notice your partner exhibiting these behaviors.

Navigating Relationship Issues

Relationship issues such as infidelity, broken promises, or long-distance struggles can be overwhelming when you’re dating a military man. One of the keys to surviving these difficult times is building resilience and strength.

Making compromises, waiting, and being patient are all necessary when you’re in a unique situation like dating a military man. You need to realize that promises may be broken because of military needs, but always remember when works out; it will be one of the most appreciable moments in your life.

Finding Support in Fellow MilSos

Coping with distance is no easy task, especially for first-time MilSos. Luckily, there are support networks available.

Building a network of likeminded people can assist you in making it through the difficult days. Your fellow MilSos can offer advice, support, and a shoulder to cry on.

They know exactly what you’re going through, and their experience can be invaluable. Being able to talk with someone who gets it can prevent loneliness and depression.

Sexual Dry Spells

Physical affection is also one of the areas that are often an issue when you’re dating a military man. Sex dry spells are inevitable, but modern technology like Skype and sexting can assist you in keeping the spark alive.

Also, homecoming is something to look forward to after a long deployment.

Lessons Learned From Being a MilSo

Dating a military man is a unique and sometimes challenging lifestyle, but the rewards are immeasurable. Here are some essential lessons we’ve learned:

  • Job comes first, always.
  • Military commitments and duties must come first.
  • Deployment is an inevitable part of the job, and it’s crucial to mentally prepare for it.
  • Communication is key during deployment, prioritize communication tools like Skype, and Facetime.
  • Building patience is mandatory.
  • Forgiving, hard work, long-distance struggles, and promises being broken come with the territory.
  • Trusting your partner and confidentiality is essential.
  • PTSD is a real and serious issue that needs professional help.
  • Distance is manageable, and commitment and love are the answers.
  • Support from fellow MilSos is invaluable.
  • Sexual dry spells can be managed, and the emotional aspect of your relationship will strengthen over time.

Final Thoughts

Dating a military man comes with challenges and rewards. Navigating limited communication, deployment, PTSD, and relationship issues can be tough.

But with patience, understanding, and the support of your fellow MilSos, you can thrive and grow in your relationship. Remember always to love each other, communicate, and be supportive.

The military lifestyle can be tough, but your relationship can be a source of joy and strength amidst it all. In conclusion, dating a military man comes with its unique set of challenges and rewards.

Limited communication, deployment, PTSD, relationship issues, and distance hurdles can be overwhelming. However, building patience, understanding, resilience, and trusting your partner can go a long way in navigating these obstacles.

Seeking support from fellow MilSos, finding alternative ways of communication, and managing sexual dry spells are also essential tools. Always remember that the military man’s job comes first, and keeping the spark alive takes effort, love, and commitment.

Armed with these lessons, we hope you can navigate your military relationship with ease and joy.

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