The Mating Grounds

Surviving Narcissistic Abuse: Understanding Healing Moving Forward

Understanding Narcissists: Dealing with Mythical Creatures

Have you ever encountered a person who seems to have a larger-than-life ego? Someone who is always talking about themselves, putting others down, and demanding constant attention?

Chances are, you have met a narcissist a toxic and manipulative individual who thrives on power and control. But who are these mythical creatures, and how can we handle them?

In this article, we will take a deeper look into the world of narcissists and discover their tactics, behaviors, and impact on our lives.

Definition of Narcissists

First, let’s define what we mean by “narcissist.” According to the DSM-5, a narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by a pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy. Narcissists believe they are special, entitled to special treatment, and superior to others.

They often exploit, manipulate, and disregard the feelings of those around them.

Tactics Used by Narcissists

Narcissists are masters of manipulation, and they use a range of tactics to gain control over their victims. Here are some common tactics used by narcissists:


Gaslighting: This is a form of emotional abuse where the narcissist makes the victim doubt their own memories, perceptions, and sanity. 2.

Projection: Narcissists often accuse others of the same faults and flaws they possess. For example, a narcissist who is cheating on their partner might accuse their partner of being unfaithful.

3. Triangulation: Narcissists love to play people against each other, creating drama and chaos to maintain their power and control.

Underestimating the Sneaky Nature of Narcissists

One of the biggest mistakes we make when dealing with narcissists is underestimating their sneaky, manipulative, and persistent nature. Narcissists are experts at pretending to be charming, caring, and authentic when they need to be, but they can quickly switch to their darker side when their mask slips.

The Mask They Wear

Narcissists wear a complex mask that is designed to attract and deceive their victims. Here are some aspects of their mask:

Initial Behavior of a Narcissist

Narcissists often play the role of a perfect person, pretending to be the partner of your dreams, the colleague you always wanted, or the friend who understands you the most. They make you believe that they are just like you, with similar values, interests, and goals.

Careful Victim Selection

Narcissists are excellent at identifying their victims, using their weaknesses, vulnerabilities, and insecurities to gain control over them. They prey on those who are empathetic, compassionate, and kind-hearted.

Love-Bombing and False Promises

Once the narcissist has identified their victim, they will use a technique called love-bombing showering them with affection, attention, and flattery to create the illusion of a fairy tale romance. They will make false promises of a future together, creating a feeling of safety and stability.

Dealing with Narcissists

So, what can we do to protect ourselves from narcissistic abuse? Here are some tips:


Recognize the signs of narcissism: By understanding the traits and behaviors of narcissists, we can detect them early and avoid falling into their trap. 2.

Set boundaries: Narcissists hate boundaries, and they will try to push them as much as possible. It’s important to be firm and assertive when it comes to our boundaries.

3. Seek support: Narcissistic abuse can cause significant emotional and psychological damage.

Seeking support from a therapist, counselor, or trusted friend can help us recover and heal. In conclusion, dealing with narcissists can be challenging and exhausting, but with the right knowledge, skills, and support, we can protect ourselves from their toxic influence.

Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect, love, and kindness, and you have the power to say no to those who do not meet your standards. Stay safe and take care of yourself.

3. How They Manipulate You

Have you ever felt like someone is trying to control and manipulate you?

Maybe you feel like you’re walking on eggshells, afraid to do or say anything that might upset them. If so, there’s a chance you might be dealing with a narcissist.

Narcissists are experts at manipulation, and they use a variety of tactics to control and diminish their victims.

Diminishing of Your Worth

One of the most common tactics used by narcissists is to diminish their victim’s self-worth. They do this by using toxic behavior such as aggression, possession, and jealousy.

They may criticize their victim’s appearance, intelligence, or abilities, making them feel like they’re not good enough. They may even try to isolate their victim from their friends and family, using the threat of abandonment to keep them in line.

All of this is designed to make the victim more reliant on the narcissist, making it easier for them to control and manipulate.

Emotional Blackmail and Guilt-Tripping

Another tactic used by narcissists is emotional blackmail. This occurs when the narcissist threatens to withhold love, affection, or support unless their victim complies with their demands.

They may also use guilt-tripping, making their victim feel guilty for not meeting their needs. This can be particularly effective if the victim is empathetic and caring, as they may feel a sense of responsibility for the narcissist’s well-being.

Blaming You for Everything

Narcissists are experts at deflecting blame and justifying their behavior. When something goes wrong, they will often blame their victim for the problem, even if it has nothing to do with them.

They may twist the facts or use circular logic to make it seem like everything is the victim’s fault. This can be particularly damaging, as it prevents the narcissist from taking responsibility for their actions and forces the victim into a position of feeling like the victim.

4. The Cycle of Abuse

The behavior of a narcissist often follows a predictable pattern, known as the cycle of abuse.

This cycle typically includes three phases: tension building, incident, and reconciliation.

Physical Violence and Gaslighting

In the tension-building phase, the narcissist will become increasingly agitated and irritable. They may snap at their victim over minor issues or become verbally abusive.

Eventually, this tension will escalate into an incident of physical violence or emotional abuse. This can be particularly damaging, as the narcissist may use gaslighting tactics to make their victim doubt their own perceptions and memories of the incident.

False Hope and Endless Cycle

In the reconciliation phase, the narcissist will apologize for their behavior and promise to change. They may shower their victim with love and affection, creating a false sense of hope that things will get better.

However, this hope is often short-lived, as the tension-building phase will start anew, and the cycle of abuse continues. This endless cycle can be emotionally draining and can lead victims to feel trapped and powerless.

Overcoming Helplessness

If you find that you’re dealing with a narcissist, it’s important to take steps to protect yourself and your mental health. One option is to walk away from the relationship altogether.

This can be difficult if you’re dealing with an addict or someone you care deeply about. Another option is to establish a no-contact rule, cutting off all communication with the narcissist, including social media and email communication.

Healing from narcissistic abuse can be a long and challenging process. It can feel like trying to wean yourself off a drug, as you may find yourself craving the narcissist’s attention and affection.

However, with time and patience, it is possible to overcome the helplessness and suffering caused by narcissistic abuse. Seeking therapy or counseling can be a helpful step towards reclaiming your power and healing from the effects of narcissistic abuse.

5. Moving Forward

Dealing with a narcissist can be a draining and emotionally challenging experience.

It can lead to feelings of hopelessness, self-doubt, and anxiety. However, it is possible to move forward and heal from the effects of narcissistic abuse.

Realizing the Need for Change

The first step towards moving forward is recognizing the need for change. This may mean leaving the narcissist, seeking professional help to address issues such as anxiety, depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder caused by the abuse.

It’s important to prioritize your mental health and well-being. Acknowledging the impact the narcissist has had on your life is the first step to take charge of your life and move forward.

Breaking Free from the Narcissist

One of the most helpful steps you can take toward healing and moving on from the narcissist is to break free from their control and manipulation. Narcissists rely on controlling their victims through emotional manipulation, which creates dependency over time.

To break free from this dependency, it’s important to stay strong and maintain your boundaries. It can be challenging at first, but with time, you will gain confidence in your ability to see the narcissist’s flaws and realize your own worth and accomplishments.

Moving On from the Narcissist

Moving on from a relationship with a narcissist takes time, patience, and self-love. Immersing yourself in new hobbies, activities, or finding support groups can help you rebuild your self-esteem and remind yourself of what you love about life.

Time heals all wounds, and although the pain may never go away entirely, it can gradually become more manageable. It’s important to remind yourself that you are a lovable person, and the toxic guy’s behavior is a reflection of them, not you.

In conclusion, moving on from a relationship with a narcissist is a process that requires time, patience, and self-love. It’s a journey to reclaiming your power and self-esteem after experiencing the damaging effects of narcissistic abuse.

Recognizing the need for change, breaking free from the narcissist, and moving on from them are all critical steps towards regaining control and finding peace in your life. Remember, you deserve love, respect, and happiness, and you are worthy of the care and attention you need to heal from the past.

In conclusion, dealing with a narcissist can be a challenging and emotionally draining experience. However, it is possible to protect yourself from their toxic influence by understanding their tactics, behaviors, and impact on your life.

By recognizing the signs of narcissism, setting boundaries, seeking support, breaking free from their control, and moving on to find self-love, you can overcome the effects of narcissistic abuse and find peace in your life. Remember, healing and moving forward is a journey, but taking the first step towards recovery is already a giant leap towards reclaiming control, self-esteem, and self-worth.

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