Swimming in Peace: Lessons from Fish and The Power of a Three-Second Memory


Have you ever heard that fish have a three-second memory? As it turns out, this is nothing but a myth.

However, it makes one wonder about the benefits of having a three-second memory. In this article, we’ll explore the effects of change on trauma, the benefits of a three-second memory for fish, and how humans can apply this concept to their own relationships.

1) The Myth of a Fish’s Memory

Shocking Effects of Change on Fish

It is well-documented that fish experience trauma when moved to a new environment or temperature. This trauma has a profound impact on their behavior, leading to a change in habits and even a significant risk of death.

This effect has been observed in both farmed and wild fish, including salmon, trout, and carp.

Benefits of a Three Second Memory

Despite the traumatic effects of change on fish, research has shown that fish do not experience pain as we do. Additionally, fish do not hold grudges or form preconceived notions about other fish based on past interactions.

This enables them to live a peaceful existence that is not weighed down by resentment.

Applying the Idea of a Three Second Memory to Human Relationships

If fish can live a peaceful existence without holding onto negative experiences, why can’t humans? Imagine meeting someone for the first time and going into the interaction with an open mind and a positive attitude.

By doing so, we give love and set limits that prevent us from being hurt by the other person. Thinking of every interaction as a new opportunity to create a positive connection makes us less prone to holding onto negative memories that can hurt us in the long run.

2) Holding onto Negative Memories in Relationships

The Influence of Past Memories on Present Interactions

Holding onto negative memories from past relationships can have a significant impact on how we interact with others. Resentment, anger, and sadness from past experiences can cloud our judgment and pour out unnecessary energy that could have been invested positively.

The Clich of Forgiving But Not Forgetting

The notion of forgiving but not forgetting is a protection mechanism that many of us use to shield ourselves from the potential threat of someone hurting us again. However, this protection mechanism can end up holding onto past wrongdoing and prevent us from moving on in a positive direction.

Understanding the Root of Unintentional Harm in Relationships

Many times, the harm we cause in relationships is not intentional. It is often a learned behavior or an automatic response that we are unaware of.

Understanding the root of such behaviors can prevent us from causing unintentional harm in the future, allowing us to repair and maintain healthy relationships.


While fish may not have three-second memories after all, the concept can teach us a valuable lesson. Living in the moment, being present and open-minded, can help us maintain healthy and positive relationships.

We must filter out the baggage from past relationships and interact with others with a fresh perspective. This can help us avoid hurt, resentment, and negativity and embrace the beauty of life’s possibilities.

3) The Gift of Being Given Another Chance

Embracing Imperfection and the Ability to Change

Have you ever felt consumed by the idea that you have to be perfect? It can be exhausting.

The truth is, nobody is perfect, and there is something freeing about accepting that fact. By acknowledging that we are not perfect, we permit ourselves to make mistakes and learn from them, over and over again.

We have endless opportunities to make better choices and to work on being the best version of ourselves.

The Transformative Nature of Memories

Memories are powerful things. They allow us to reflect on our past experiences and learn from them.

However, memories can also be problematic if we hold onto negative experiences and allow them to cloud our judgment. The good news is that we have the ability to reshuffle our memories.

Deepening our integration with the transformative power of memories can allow us to reshape those experiences so that they serve us instead of holding us back.

The Beginning Mind and Seeing Things with Fresh Eyes

What if we could see things with fresh eyes, as if we were experiencing them for the very first time? It’s possible with the beginning mind, a state of mind that allows us to let go of preconceptions and approach things from a new perspective.

It takes a bit of practice, but cultivating a beginning mind can transform the way we see ourselves, others, and the world around us. 4) Practice: Seeing Your Spouse with Fresh Eyes

The Joy of Seeing Someone as They Really Are

In any relationship, it’s easy to get stuck in patterns of behavior that become routine. However, if we can see our partner with fresh eyes, we might discover something new and wonderful about them.

We can choose to notice them as they are right now, without judgment or expectation. Try it out, and you may be surprised by how much more joy there is to be found.

Giving a Warm Greeting to Your Spouse

One way to see your spouse with fresh eyes is to give them a warm greeting every day. When you see them, brighten up and take the time to give them a smile, a handshake, or even a hug.

By doing so, you are creating a positive energy that illuminates joy, and you may be surprised by how much better your day and your relationship feels.

Noticing and Sharing Positivity

Another way to see your spouse with fresh eyes is to notice the good things they do, however small. When you notice something nice, share it out loud with your spouse.

Positive reactions like that will encourage your spouse to continue being their best self and foster a healthy, strong relationship.


By embracing the gift of imperfection, letting go of preconceptions, and reshaping negative memories, we can cultivate a beginning mind and develop the ability to see things with fresh eyes. Additionally, we can strengthen our relationships by noticing and sharing positives, and by giving our spouse a warm greeting every day.

In the end, it’s worth it to take the time and effort to create deeper connections with our loved ones and ultimately, ourselves. 5)

Conclusion: Swimming in Peace like a Fish

As we’ve explored in this article, fish have something to teach us about living in a peaceful existence. Despite trauma associated with change, fish are not weighed down by resentment, do not harbor grudges, and can live a calm, serene existence.

Humans can take some notes from this fishy philosophy.

Embracing a Peaceful Existence

We do not have to be weighed down by negativity from past experiences. By choosing to let go of resentments and past grudges, we can cultivate positive connections with others and find meaning and purpose in our lives.

This is not to say that we should ignore past experiences, but instead, they can serve as lessons in forgiveness, healing, and growth.

Cultivating Positive Connections

Another lesson we can take from fish is the way they approach new experiences. Fish do not form preconceived notions about other fish based on past interactions.

This allows them to approach new situations with an open and positive attitude. Humans can benefit from this same kind of interaction, whether it be making new friends, starting a new job, or getting out of one’s comfort zone.

By approaching new experiences with openness, warmth, and positivity, we can cultivate meaningful connections with others.

Letting Go of Negativity

Fish do not have a grain of negativity within them, which is an admirable quality that we humans can strive to emulate. Letting go of negativity allows us to clear out space in our minds, which enables us to focus on positive and productive thoughts.

It also removes the burden that negativity places on our minds and bodies, promoting peace and a sense of calm. In conclusion, it is possible to live in a peaceful existence like a fish, by cultivating positive connections, letting go of negativity, and approaching new experiences with an open and positive perspective.

It may not always be easy, but with practice and a bit of mindfulness, we can swim through life in peace and tranquility, like a fish in a calm pond. In conclusion, this article has explored several compelling concepts that can help us approach our lives in a more positive and meaningful way.

We’ve learned from fish about the benefits of a three-second memory, and how humans can apply this concept in their relationships by embracing a peaceful existence. We’ve also examined the power of transforming our memories, cultivating fresh perspectives through a beginning mind, and ways to see our loved ones with fresh eyes.

The significance of these ideas lies in the potential for us to live fuller, more joyful lives, free from the burdens that negativity and preconceptions can place on our minds. By embracing these teachings, we can experience the transformative power of a more peaceful existence.

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