Dating in college versus dating as an adult – there’s a world of difference between the two. From the intensity of possessiveness to the financial situation, communication skills to sexual experiences and privacy, everything changes as we grow older.
But what is it about dating in college that’s so charming? Let’s dive in and explore the quirks and perks of dating in college and how it compares to dating in the real world.
Intensity of Possessiveness
In college, the fear of abandonment is real and can lead to possessiveness and jealousy. Your partner may view any time spent away from them as a potential threat.
It’s important to understand that this is a form of abandonment anxiety rather than lack of trust in the relationship. As adults, we’ve had more experience and learned to establish personal space while being in a relationship.
Trust is usually a given, and the fear of abandonment is subdued.
Financial Situation
Ramen noodles and a bottle of cheap booze were our go-to dinner options in college. Eating out was a rare treat, and the fanciest restaurant we could afford was the cafeteria.
But that didn’t stop our love life from thriving on the limited resources. We got creative with our date ideas, from picnics on the lawn to scavenger hunts around campus.
As adults with steady jobs and higher disposable income, we can afford expensive restaurants and lavish dates. However, we often forget that limited resources can be a charm in itself, forcing us to tap into our creativity and developing our relationship through other means.
Communication Skills
In college, we were still navigating our way through our emotions and learning to develop good communication skills. Blocking each other on social media was a common tool used to assert dominance or avoid confrontation.
But as we grow older, we learn to better articulate our needs and feelings in a relationship. Good communication helps our partner understand our perspective and helps us navigate any conflict that arises.
Sexual Experiences
College was a time of exploration and discovery, and sexual experiences were no exception. Sex was a thrilling and experimental phase, and being with someone new was always a possibility.
Orgasms were a rare occurrence, but that didn’t stop us from having fun. As adults, we’ve had more sexual experience and know what we want.
Better sex and pleasure are more important than merely having a new partner. It’s not just about physical attraction but emotional compatibility as well.
Privacy
Keeping our relationship private and on the down-low was a challenge in college. Social media was new, and everyone had something to say about everything.
It was necessary to keep our love life private to avoid unwanted attention. As adults, we’ve become more comfortable with our relationships, and social media is an extension of our relationship rather than a hindrance.
The Charm of Dating in College
Despite the differences between dating in college and dating as adults, there’s something incredibly charming and endearing about dating while in college. The lack of personal space and quirky behaviors make for a memorable college experience.
Quirky Behaviors
Matching t-shirts, intimacy in dorm rooms, and campus hangouts were the norm in college. Quirky behaviors were celebrated, and being unique was a badge of honor.
It was a time of discovery, and everything felt new and exciting. As adults, we often forget the importance of embracing our quirks and being authentic.
Limited Resources
Button, handkerchief, and pure methanol – these were the essential ingredients of our college drinks. Getting high was just as important as getting drunk, and we made the most of our limited resources.
As adults, we have access to expensive drinks and drugs, but the experience of making do with what we had is unparalleled.
Lack of Personal Space
Personal space was a foreign concept in college, and we embraced it with open arms (and cramped dorm rooms). It was a time of communal living and sharing spaces.
As adults, we tend to prioritize individual space and independence, but we often forget the joy of sharing our lives with our loved ones. In conclusion, dating in college and dating as adults might be different, but each has its charm.
While college was a time of exploration and discovery, adulthood brings with it maturity and experience. But it’s important to remember the quirks and charms of dating in college and carry them with us into our adult lives.
It’s the little things that make a relationship memorable, like matching t-shirts and intimacy in dorm rooms. So let’s embrace the quirky and hold on to the charm of college dating.
Comparison of Possessiveness
Possessiveness is an issue that can affect any relationship. However, it takes on different forms depending on the stage of life you’re in.
In college, possessiveness can be quite intense due to a fear of abandonment and a lack of trust in the relationship. Cheating is a common fear, and any flirty comments or interactions with other people can be seen as a threat to the relationship.
However, as we grow up and become adults, possessiveness can take on a different shape. Instead of fearing cheating or abandonment, adult possessiveness often revolves around the fear of being replaced.
Girls/boys night out can be a point of contention in a relationship as the non-invited partner may feel like they’re being excluded or replaced. Additionally, a desire for personal space can be seen as a way of distancing oneself from the relationship and prompting the other person to seek attention elsewhere.
Thirsty friends can also contribute to possessiveness as sometimes the thirsty friends can become more than friendly. This is especially the case if they’re single or have an unsatisfactory relationship.
In these cases, both partners need to put in the necessary effort to ensure the trust in the relationship is maintained while also acknowledging the importance of having separate social circles. Comparison of
Financial Situations
A significant difference between dating in college and dating as an adult is the difference in financial situations.
In college, the phrase “starving student” is often championed. This is due to the limited finances that most college students have to work within.
Ramen noodles, macaroni, and cheese, and corner seats in the movie theatre were all we could afford. Going out for a fancy dinner was a rarity, and generally reserved for special occasions.
Instead, college students learn to make the most of what they have with picnics, potlucks, and homemade meals. Adults, on the other hand, have more disposable income.
The cost of eating out can often be ignored, and dinner dates at fancy restaurants are more common. Likewise, while college students may have visited a mall food court or two, adults have the luxury of going to high-end shopping centres with high-end food courts.
However, it’s important to acknowledge that it’s not just about the money. Putting in effort and thought into the date is far more important than how much money is being spent.
Therefore, couples should focus on doing activities that they both enjoy and that foster deeper feelings of intimacy and connection. When it comes down to it, every stage of life has its positives and negatives.
Dating in college and dating as an adult have their charm, and we should strive to appreciate them both for what they offer. Whether it’s making do with limited resources or splashing out on fancy dinners, dating is what you make of it.
Ultimately, the secret to a successful relationship is finding someone who shares your values and beliefs. As long as you have that, everything else will fall into place.
Comparison of
Communication Skills
Communication skills are essential to any relationship, but often, they’re not fully developed until we’re well into adulthood. In college, it can be challenging to communicate one’s feelings, as the ability to vocalize emotions may be limited.
It’s also a time when we’re still trying to figure out who we are, and what we want from a relationship. The consequences of poor communication may be severe, leading to misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and even breakups.
In college, messages would often be relayed through friends, which could be unreliable, and things could easily get lost in translation. Communication through social media could also be problematic, with messages getting lost in long chains of responses.
It’s crucial to remember that effective communication involves listening actively and speaking honestly, even if the message is difficult to convey. As we grow older, we learn the importance of good communication skills.
We learn to put our emotions into words, and that there is no shame in expressing feelings openly and honestly. Clear communication is key in making a relationship work.
It’s not just what you say, but how you say it. Furthermore, adults tend to avoid communicating over social media.
The practice is viewed as informal, and the risk of miscommunication is high. Instead, more intimate forms of communication such as talking over the phone or face-to-face conversations are favoured.
Sexual Experiences in College and as Adults
Sexual experiences and dating often go hand in hand. When it comes to sexual experiences, college is often viewed as a time of exploration and experimentation.
However, the sexual encounters themselves can often be problematic, and sometimes traumatic. Drunk sex is rampant in college, and the experience can be forgettable, with some pieces of the encounter only remembered in fragments.
Sexual experiences are often awkward and highlight the need for better communication. As adults, sex is more often regarded as a means of establishing intimacy with one’s partner, rather than just an act.
The drunken sex from college is replaced with conscious and sober sex, which can lead to more fulfilling sexual experiences. It’s not just about climaxing, but about establishing a connection with one’s partner.
Furthermore, sexual exploration is not limited to just physical experimentation. As adults, we are better able to explore our own sexual identities and desires, leading to greater understanding and acceptance of ourselves and our partners.
Sex positivity, intimacy, and communication are key factors that contribute to the overall satisfaction of our sex lives. In conclusion, communication and sexual experiences are two significant factors that contribute to any relationship’s success.
Between college and adulthood, the way we communicate and our sexual experiences evolve. As we become more complete and confident adults, we are better able to express ourselves and communicate effectively with our partners.
Similarly, sexual experiences become more fulfilling and less about physical experimentation and more about establishing intimacy with our partners. It’s important to develop healthy conversations and healthier sexual relationships, regardless of where we are in our life journey, as these factors contribute significantly to any relationship’s longevity.
Differences in
Privacy
Privacy is a significant aspect of any relationship. It’s natural to want to share your life with those closest to you, but balancing that with maintaining personal boundaries, especially in public settings, can be challenging.
This is particularly true when comparing privacy in college relationships versus relationships as adults. In college, personal privacy can feel like a foreign concept.
Social media platforms such as Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook are a significant part of a college student’s life. It’s not uncommon for everyone to know your business, even the kind you would rather keep private.
It’s not only your friends and peers that may know about your relationship, but also your professors, classmates, and complete strangers. While this lack of privacy can be frustrating, it’s also just part of the college experience at large.
However, as we grow older and enter adulthood, our privacy needs shift. Adult relationships are often taken more seriously, and there is a greater need for discretion.
Keeping romance out of the public eye is essential, especially since reputations can be crucial in the workplace. Work relationships can become complicated if a relationship is publicly flaunted.
It can make others uncomfortable, and professional ramifications can ensue. As adults, keeping things on the down-low becomes a priority.
Although social media is still a useful communication tool, it’s not the default for exchanging intimate details of our lives. Instead, they’re reserved for private conversations between partners.
It’s important to note that privacy issues can look different across relationships. Needs may vary depending on the individuals involved and where they are in life.
For example, privacy concerns would be different for a long-distance college relationship versus a cohabiting adult couple. However, the bottom line remains the same – it’s essential to maintain personal boundaries while still promoting healthy communication, trust, and respect.
In conclusion, privacy expectations and requirements change as relationships evolve and grow. In college, personal privacy can feel like a distant memory with social media sharing being prevalent and everyone knowing your business.
Meanwhile, as adults, there is a greater need for discretion, with keeping things on the down-low becomes a priority as reputation and professionalism become increasingly important. Regardless of what the perception of privacy is, it’s important to remember that communication plays a significant role in making relationships successful.
In conclusion, dating in college and dating as adults have their unique charms and challenges. Differences are apparent in possessiveness, communication skills, sexual experiences, finances, and privacy.
In college, abandonment anxiety can trigger intense possessiveness, leading to jealousy over small things like flirty comments. Communication is often limited, with messages frequently being relayed through friends.
Sexual experiences are more experimental, but sometimes awkward and traumatic. Furthermore, finances are usually limited to cheap and creative date ideas.
Privacy is almost non-existent with everyone knowing each other’s business through social media platforms like Instagram. In comparison, as adults, privacy becomes more important, discretion is highly regarded, and communication, financial stability, and intimacy are crucial factors in relationship satisfaction.
Regardless of which stage of life you’re at, it’s important to develop healthy conversations and have healthier sexual relationships as these factors contribute significantly to any relationship’s longevity.
