The Mating Grounds

The Elusive Search for a Real Man: Why They’re Like Unicorns and How to Find One

The Search for a Real Man

Are you searching for a real man but feel like you are looking for a unicorn? Does it feel like every guy you meet falls short of your expectations, leaving you wondering if there really are any “real men” out there?

You’re not alone. Misconceptions about what makes a man “real” and societal changes make it harder than ever to find a partner who meets our expectations.

Misconceptions About Real Men

One reason it is challenging to find a real man is that we have unrealistic expectations. We think that finding a real man means finding someone who is perfect in every way.

However, nobody is perfect, and setting unrealistic expectations leads to disappointment. Alternatively, some people believe that being masculine means being dominant, aggressive, and invincible.

However, masculinity means different things to different people. True masculinity should include virtues such as trust, honesty, respect, and putting in effort.

The Meaning of a Real Man

We may have different ideas of what being a real man means, but there are some qualities that real men share. The key values are trust, honesty, and respect.

Men who are honest and trustworthy are reliable, which makes them good partners. They also respect you and your boundaries, which is essential in a healthy relationship.

If a man doesn’t respect you, it is hard to feel safe and secure in the relationship. Moreover, finding a real man is all about sustained effort.

Relationships take time, energy, and commitment. If a man puts in the effort to make the relationship work, you know that you have a partner who is all in.

Real Men as Unicorns

It feels like real men are unicorns because they are difficult to find. It’s not that they don’t exist, but rather they are rare.

Surely, when you think back to how many men you have dated, how many of them were true real men? Many of us have been conditioned to be skeptical of real men because of the increasingly casual dating culture.

Modern Casual Dating

Modern dating is mostly virtual and casual. Instead of courting, we have instant messaging, and instead of love letters, we have emojis.

The world of dating has changed, and while it is good to stay digital, it’s sometimes difficult to gauge someone’s true intentions. Digital faux flirtation can be fun, but it’s not the same as genuine love and connection.

Too Many Dating Options

Moreover, many people face the paradox of more dating options and fewer meaningful connections. With online dating apps and more matchmaking options, it’s easy to feel committed to no one because you have so many other options.

The abundance of options can lead to choice overload, causing people to struggle when it’s time to settle down.

Intimidation of Independent Women

We are living in times where women’s power dynamics have never been as highlighted as now. We are defining our careers and are more independent as we’ve ever been.

However, men can feel intimidated by independent women, causing difficulties in forming a meaningful bond. Gender roles can also play into dynamics that impact who we are attracted to and how we perceive them.

Difficulties with Responsibility

Maturity and personal development are other factors that can impact a man’s ability to be a real man. Personal development can be intimidating and difficult, and not all men are up to the challenge.

Genuine masculinity requires taking responsibilities and being accountable for your actions.

Lack of Real-Life Conversations

Social media and technology have made it harder to strike the balance between virtual connections and face-to-face interactions. People can have hundreds of friends on social media, but very few of them have genuine conversations.

Genuine connections come from regular conversations, deep talks, and shared experiences.

Less Pressure to Get Married

Lastly, changing attitudes towards commitment can impact a man’s willingness to settle down. Our minds are wired to rely on intimacy and long-lasting relationships, but some men feel the pressure to conform is too much.

The result is that the traditional route of getting married may no longer be a priority.

Closing Thoughts

Finding a real man takes time, effort, and sometimes a little luck. It is easy to become discouraged when we feel like we are searching for a unicorn.

Still, it’s essential to remember that genuine masculinity looks different to different people. Examine your expectations and see if they are realistic.

Most importantly, always be honest and respectful when dating. Put in the effort, and you may just find your unicorn.

Are you tired of men who make promises they can’t keep, say all the right things but fail to deliver, or lack ambition and vision for the future? It’s time to start looking for a real man, someone who embodies the qualities that make a man trustworthy, dependable, and committed.

Here are some essential characteristics that distinguish a real man.

Keeping Promises

Real men are reliable and accountable. They keep their promises and do what they say they will do.

They understand that trust is the foundation of any relationship, and they make sure to earn it. They take responsibility for their actions and do everything they can to rectify any mistakes or missteps.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Real men understand that their actions are more important than their words. They know that intentions mean nothing without effort and consistency.

They make sure to show their love and commitment through their actions, not just their words. They understand that words can be empty, but actions can be life-changing.


Real men understand the importance of time management, and they respect your time as well. They make sure to prioritize their relationships and show appreciation for the time you spend with them.

They put effort and energy into their relationships and don’t take them for granted.


Real men are loyal, supportive partners. They understand that relationships require hard work, and they are committed to putting in the effort.

They make sure to protect the ones they love and are always there when you need them. They understand that a relationship is a partnership and work to make sure it is balanced and healthy.

Future Planning

Real men have ambition and vision for the future. They understand that relationships require planning and collaboration.

They make sure to involve their partners in their plans and work together towards a shared vision. They understand that the future can be uncertain, but they work to identify opportunities and create a plan to achieve personal and collective goals.


Real men understand the importance of gratitude, kindness, and empathy. They make sure to express their appreciation for their partner, not just for what they do, but for who they are.

They make sure to take time to show their love and affection and never take their partner for granted.

Earning Trust and Winning the Heart

Real men understand that trust is earned, not given. They work to establish a sense of authenticity and credibility with their partners.

They understand that developing trust takes time and requires consistency, effort, and commitment. They are patient and never push their partner beyond what they are ready to give.

In conclusion, finding a real man is about more than just looks, charm, or wealth. It’s about finding someone who embodies the characteristics of a trustworthy, dependable, and committed partner.

Real men are accountable, consistent, ambitious, and grateful. They understand the importance of effort, collaboration, and patience in forming meaningful relationships.

Don’t settle for anything less than a real man, someone who will earn your trust, win your heart, and make you feel loved every day. In conclusion, the search for a real man is not an easy task, and many factors make it even harder.

Misconceptions, modern dating culture, and changing attitudes towards commitment can all take a toll on relationships. However, as we have discussed, the traits of a real man – reliability, accountability, effort, consistency, ambition, sensitivity, gratitude, and patience are the bedrocks of any healthy and long-lasting relationship.

Therefore, it’s worth taking our time and finding someone who genuinely embodies these qualities and values. By doing so, we can build meaningful and fulfilling relationships that stand the test of time.

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