The Mating Grounds

The Painful Reality of Repeat Cheaters: 9 Traits to Watch Out For and How to Heal

Discovering that your partner has been unfaithful can be one of the most devastating experiences anyone can go through. It shatters the trust and the foundation of the relationship, leaving you feeling lost and bewildered.

However, discovering that your partner is a repeat cheater is a whole other level of emotional turmoil. In this article, we will explore the emotional reactions of discovering a repeat philanderer and the traits of repeat cheaters that you need to watch out for.

Emotional Reactions to Discovering a Repeat Philanderer

When you discover that your partner is a repeat cheater, it can leave you in a state of disbelief. You may find it hard to accept that the person you love has been lying to you repeatedly.

You may ask yourself, “How could I have missed it?” You may doubt your own perception of reality, making it hard to trust other people in the future. The sense of being lied to by someone you love can leave you feeling betrayed and deceived.

You might feel like the relationship was an illusion, and that you have been living a lie. You might also blame yourself for not seeing the signs earlier or for not paying attention to your intuition.

Unfortunately, this type of thinking can lead to self-doubt and self-criticism. You may start to question your self-worth and inadequacy in the relationship.

However, it’s important to recognize that a repeat cheater’s behavior is not about you. It’s about their inability to remain faithful and their decision-making.

Traits of Repeat Cheaters

Essentially, the traits of repeat cheaters are about consistency. They tend to exhibit patterns of behavior that predict their future actions.

For example, a person who has cheated in multiple previous relationships is likely to cheat again. Here are some other traits to watch out for:

Sociopathic Narcissism

Sociopathic narcissists believe they are entitled to whatever they want, regardless of the consequences. They are competitive, manipulative, and often break rules to get what they want.

They are also experts at making their partners feel like they are the crazy ones, leading to feelings of gaslighting and self-doubt.


Cheating can be an addiction, just like substance abuse or other behavioral addictions. The thrill of the chase, the excitement of not getting caught, can be a powerful motivator.

The need for this type of high can lead to a cycle of infidelity that is hard to break.

Refusal to Take Responsibility

Repeat cheaters often refuse to take responsibility for their actions. They may blame their partner for not giving them enough attention or not being attractive enough.

They may deny any wrongdoing or lack remorse for the pain they caused. They may also shift the blame onto others to avoid facing their own shortcomings.

Blaming the Partner

Repeat cheaters may also fault-find with their partner. They may neglect their emotional or sexual needs, leading the partner to feel unfulfilled or unloved.

This can then be used as an excuse to cheat. Partner-blaming can be a sign of a deeper issue with the individual and their ability to take responsibility for their own actions.

Moving Forward

If you have discovered that your partner is a repeat cheater, you may be wondering what to do next. The decision to stay or go is a personal one, and there is no right or wrong answer.

However, it’s important to consider your well-being, emotional health, and safety. You will need to go through a grieving process and do what’s right for you, whether that be therapy, taking time for yourself, or ending the relationship altogether.

In conclusion, discovering that your partner is a repeat cheater can be an emotionally painful and difficult experience. It’s important to take care of yourself, acknowledge the emotional reactions you have, and be aware of the traits of repeat cheaters.

Remember, the decision to stay or go is up to you. At the end of the day, you deserve to be with someone who values and respects you, and whose patterns of behavior bring joy and happiness into your life.

Staying with a serial cheater can have long-lasting effects on one’s mental and emotional well-being. It can be a source of constant stress, leading to obsessive thoughts, paranoia, and anxiety.

In this article, we explore the effects of staying with a serial cheater and offer some strategies for making the decision to stay or leave.

Effects of Staying with a Serial Cheater

Obsessive Thoughts

Replaying scenes of infidelity or imagining potential future scenarios with another person can be an intrusive part of your thought patterns. This rumination can make it difficult to function in daily life and may become a fixation that is hard to break.


Repeated infidelity can make it difficult to trust your partner, leading to experiences of suspicion, mistrust, and hyper-vigilance. This can strain even healthy relationships, ultimately leaving you feeling on edge and constantly uncertain.


It’s common to feel anxious when contemplating ending a toxic relationship, especially if your partner has been habitually unfaithful. Fear of abandonment, uncertainty about the future, and the constant weight of relationship drama can leave you restless and unable to relax.

Sleep Disturbances

Stress from a challenging relationship can cause significant disruptions to sleep. Insomnia, nightmares, and sleep deprivation can leave you feeling exhausted and irritable throughout the day, compounding the negative effects of the relationship.

Eating Disorders

Repeated cheating can take a toll on one’s mental and physical health leading to unhealthy eating habits. It can manifest as a loss of appetite, overeating, or emotional eating as an attempt to cope with stress and feelings of worthlessness.

Difficulty with Concentration

Stressful relationships can take up a lot of headspace, leading to problems with distractibility and impaired cognitive performance. Your work, school, or home life may suffer, leaving you feeling mentally drained.

Shame and Embarrassment

It’s common to feel ashamed or socially stigmatized by staying in a toxic relationship. You may feel embarrassed to tell friends or family what you’ve experienced, leading to a sense of isolation and loneliness.

Anger and Rage

Repeated betrayal can lead to emotional turmoil and create ongoing resentment and hurt between you and your partner. These powerful emotions can express themselves in many ways, including explosive bouts of anger or frequent feelings of frustration.

Loss of Stability and Trust

The violation of trust that comes from habitual infidelity can often leave the relationship in a constant state of uncertainty. This emotional instability can leave you feeling vulnerable and insecure and prevent any positive growth in the relationship.

Making the Decision

Making the decision to leave or stay is a personal choice. But, it’s important to remember that neither option is easy.

Here are some strategies for making the decision:

Seeking Help

Consider seeing a therapist or seeking marriage counseling to help navigate the decision-making process. Remember that you are not alone, and friends or family members can also be a dependable support system.

Focus on Oneself

Take time to focus on your own needs and prioritize self-care. This may include taking up an old hobby, engaging in new experiences, or setting healthy boundaries.

Trusting One’s Intuition

Trust your gut and listen to your inner voice. Make the decision that feels right for you and your personal growth.

Dont let fear hold you back from making the necessary changes.

Moving Forward

Once the decision has been made, it’s time for healing, forgiveness, and rebuilding trust. Your journey may require work and patience but remember that positive change is possible.


Staying with a serial cheater can be emotionally traumatic and lead to a host of negative effects. Moving forward is challenging but necessary, and in making the decision to stay or go, taking care of oneself and trusting one’s instincts are essential.

Remember that positive growth and healing are possible. In conclusion, discovering that your partner is a repeat cheater can be an emotionally traumatic experience and cause significant harm to one’s mental and emotional well-being.

Recognizing the emotional reactions to discovering a repeat philanderer and the traits of a serial cheater can help you make an informed decision about your future. If you decide to stay, consequences, such as obsessive thoughts, anxiety, and sleep disturbances, may become long lasting.

However, seeking help, forgiving, focusing on yourself, and trusting your intuition can guide you toward a better future. It’s vital to take care of yourself first, and remember that no one has to suffer through a toxic relationship alone.

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