The Return of the Ghost: Coping with Why Ghosters Always Come Back


Understanding why ghosters always come back

Narcissistic traits of ghosters

It’s not uncommon for many ghosters to have narcissistic personality traits. They tend to have an excessive need for admiration and lack empathy towards others, which means they don’t care about the impact their actions have on their victims.

They’re also good at manipulating others for their benefit, which is why they disappear without hesitation.

Cowardly behavior

Ghosters rarely confront their problems head-on, which is why they would rather disappear than face the music. They tend to avoid problems and confrontation, leading them to ghost their partners.

It’s a cowardly act that often leaves the victim feeling emotionally distraught and confused.


When ghosters come back, it’s often because they are unsure about what they want. They may have ended things abruptly in the first place because they were uncertain about their feelings or commitment level.

So, when they reappear, it’s often because they’re still indecisive about their emotions.

Common reasons for ghosters to return

Boredom and loneliness

Some ghosters just return for the fun of it. They see their victims as toys to play with, and when they’re feeling bored or lonely, they’ll reach out to them again.

They have no intention of committing to a relationship, but they keep coming back because they know their victims will be there waiting.

Using the victim for ego boost

Another common reason for ghosters to return is that they want to boost their fragile egos. They breadcrumb their victims, providing just enough attention and validation to keep them interested.

Still, they never commit or follow through with their promises, leaving their victims feeling used and emotionally drained.

Seeking casual hookups

Some ghosters view their victims as casual hookups, especially when they’re not in a committed relationship. They may return because they’re looking for a quick and easy hookup, with no intention of starting a long-term relationship.

Needing a backup plan

Ghosters often don’t end things directly, leaving open the possibility of a back-burner relationship. When they return after ghosting, it’s often because they need a backup plan.

They know their victims will still be interested, so they keep them around as a safety net.

Wanting to prevent the victim from moving on

Some ghosters return when they see that their victims are moving on. They want them to themselves and don’t want to see them with someone else.

So, they resurface to keep them interested and to prevent them from finding someone new.

Possible regret and desire to make things right

Lastly, some ghosters may just genuinely regret their actions and want to make things right. They realize that they made a mistake and want to apologize and try to reconcile with their former partners.

Coping with ghosters who keep returning

Acknowledging emotions

When ghosters return, the rush of emotions can be overwhelming. It’s important to allow yourself to feel all the emotions that arise, although it can be challenging.

It’s okay to feel hurt, angry, or confused, but don’t dwell on these negative feelings forever.

Remembering how things ended

If a ghoster comes back into your life, it’s essential to remind yourself of how things ended in the first place. Remember the intentional hurt, the ignored and neglected feelings.

Try to recognize the toxic pattern and avoid repeating it.

Avoiding revenge

You may feel tempted to retaliate when a ghoster returns, but it’s vital that you be the bigger person. Revenge only breeds more negativity and can come back to harm you in the end.

Instead, focus on your own healing and growth.

Practicing patience

When a ghoster returns, it can be tempting to make quick decisions in the heat of the moment. However, practicing patience and taking some time to think things through can help you make healthier and more rational choices.

Forgiving but not forgetting

Forgiving a ghoster can provide a sense of peace and closure while also helping you let go of the past. Still, it’s important to remember the scars they left behind and hold onto the lessons you’ve learned.

Seeking closure

Closure is essential but can be difficult to achieve with a ghoster. Confronting them and setting boundaries or giving ultimatums can help you achieve a sense of closure.

However, if that isn’t possible, making a final decision to move on or cut ties for good is necessary.

Finding the strength to close the chapter

Closing the chapter on a relationship can be challenging, but it’s necessary for your emotional well-being. Find the strength to leave it all behind, move on, and begin a new chapter in your life.

Looking at ghosting as a lesson

It’s crucial to view ghosting as a lesson learned. Recognize that you’ve grown and developed a better understanding of what you want in a relationship and what you don’t.

Use the learning experience to help guide your future dating decisions.

Final Thoughts

Ghosting can be emotionally draining and confusing, and when ghosters come back, it can make things even more complicated. Understanding why they do this can help you cope better with the situation and move on.

Remember to focus on your own healing, practice patience, and view ghosting as a learning experience. With time, you’ll find the strength to close that chapter and begin anew.

Francesca Hogi’s insights on ghosting

Ghosting, as a widespread phenomenon in the world of dating, can be difficult to understand. It can be emotionally draining for the victim, and there’s no doubt that it’s a cowardly way to end a relationship.

Celebrities, dating coaches, and relationship experts have all weighed in on the topic, providing valuable insights into why people tend to ghost, how it affects the victims, and what can be done to prevent it from happening in the future. Francesca Hogi’s insights

Francesca Hogi, a top dating coach and a contestant on the Bachelor, has a unique perspective on the topic of ghosting.

Contagious phenomenon

Hogi described ghosting as a “contagious phenomenon,” which means that people tend to repeat the same behavior they’ve experienced themselves. When someone has been ghosted, they are more likely to do it to others in the future.

This cycle of behavior perpetuates the culture of ghosting and makes it more prevalent.

Bad Karma

Hogi believes that anyone who ghosts will eventually experience bad karma. When you ghost someone, you’re not only hurting their feelings, but you’re also creating a negative energy that will come back to hurt you.

It’s never a good idea to hurt someone deliberately, as it will only lead to negative consequences in the end.

Communication is key

Hogi stresses the importance of communication in any relationship. Instead of ghosting, it’s better to have a conversation and explain how you feel.

Communication allows the other person to understand where you’re coming from and can help to prevent misunderstandings.

Avoiding ghosting

When asked how to avoid ghosting altogether, Hogi offers a simple solution: be honest. Being honest with yourself and others is the key to creating healthy relationships.

If you’re not interested in someone, say so. It might be difficult, but it’s better to be honest upfront rather than to ghost them later on.

Aligning values

Hogi also emphasizes the importance of aligning values. It’s crucial to be on the same page with your partner when it comes to values, goals, and expectations.

If you’re in different places, it’s better to communicate this instead of ghosting.

Break-ups without ghosting

Hogi suggests that it’s possible to end a relationship without ghosting. One way to do this is to have a conversation and remain respectful.

Explain why you want to end things and how you’re feeling. Avoid blaming the other person and instead focus on how you can both move forward.

Final Thoughts

Ghosting is a common practice in today’s dating world, and it often leaves victims feeling confused, hurt, and unsure of what went wrong. While it’s not always easy to understand why people ghost, relationship expert Francesca Hogi offers valuable insights into the topic.

Her advice emphasizes the importance of honesty, communication, and aligning values in any relationship. It’s crucial to break the cycle of ghosting and to remember that it’s possible to end a relationship respectfully.

By following these simple guidelines, we can create healthier relationships and a more positive dating culture. Overall, the practice of ghosting can be hurtful and confusing for those involved in romantic relationships.

Ghosters exhibit traits of narcissism, cowardice, and indecisiveness, which makes it challenging to understand why they often return to their victims. However, acknowledging our emotions, avoiding revenge, practicing patience, seeking closure, and looking at ghosting as a lesson can help victims cope.

Furthermore, Relationship expert Francesca Hogi provides us with valuable insights, emphasizing the importance of honesty, communication, and aligning values in any relationship. By understanding the reasons behind ghosting and utilizing these strategies, we can create healthier relationships and avoid perpetuating the cycle of ghosting in the future.

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