Dear reader,
Relationships can be a tricky thing. They’re like a wild rollercoaster ride, full of excitement and unpredictability.
But as fun as rollercoasters can be, they can also be dangerous and leave us feeling disoriented. Relationships can be the same way.
Sometimes they’re full of happiness and love, but other times, they can leave us feeling hurt and alone. That’s why it’s important to build strong relationships that are nourished by conscious awareness.
The Relational Space: Sacred or Polluted
Have you ever stopped and considered the space between you and your partner? We often don’t realize just how important the relational space is.
We need to treat this space as sacred. Anything negative that enters that space is like polluting a river that we all depend on.
Amazing relationships are built on healthy communication, listening, and presence. It is important to be present with your partner and to really listen to what they’re saying without getting defensive.
When we’re truly present in the moment, we can avoid miscommunications, we can avoid reacting, and instead respond to the situation with clarity, insight, and wisdom that come with greater awareness.
Responsibility in a Relationship
One of the keys to a successful relationship is taking a hundred percent responsibility. Sure, there are two people in a relationship, but when we can take control of our own thoughts, feelings, and actions, we start to build a foundation that’s strong enough to withstand any storm together.
When we blame our partner for our problems, we give away all our power. It’s easy to play the blame game in a relationship, but before you know it, you’ll find your relationship falling apart.
Consciousness is important here too, as it is the effort made by both parties to create a positive and healthy relationship. Making that effort and taking that responsibility to create a strong and safe space where we can be vulnerable and open.
It’s important to understand that our effort and presence can impact our children more than we realize. Children internalize the behaviors of their parents and can build up certain psychological patterns that carry forward into adulthood.
If we’re too busy to listen to our children, or we neglect their emotional needs, we risk having them shut down emotionally. If we’re constantly in a state of conflict or responding with anger, our children can internalize this and have more tantrums.
This is not to say that we must be perfect, but it is important for us to understand that consciousness, effort, and responsibility in relationships can have a massive impact on the life of our children. Should People Stay Married for the Sake of the Children?
When things start to go awry in a marriage, the question of sticking together “for the sake of the children” often gets thrown around. But is this really the right decision?
There are benefits to long-term commitment, including better health and financial security, and a better sex life. However, staying in a toxic marriage can have negative impacts on both adults and children.
Even young children can pick up on the stress between parents, leading to the same anxiety within themselves.
Maintaining an intact marriage has benefits for children when it comes to their outcomes and development.
Children of divorced parents experience more financial difficulties, low education attainment and are more at risk of developing mental illnesses than children living with both biological parents. Yet, when problems like physical danger or high conflict threaten, leaving the marriage may be prudent over staying together.
In conclusion, relationships can be challenging but by nourishing them with conscious awareness, taking responsibility, and by considering the impact on our children, we begin to lay the foundation for a strong and healthy partnership. Knowing when to stay or leave a marriage when the situation calls for it strengthens our relationships and our family as a whole.
By putting in the effort, being present and responsible, we build a sustainable relationship that can weather almost any storm. Remember, improvements occur gradually.
It takes time, effort, and dedication to build lasting relationships and the life we desire. Dear reader,
In our previous article, we talked about the importance of conscious awareness and responsibility in relationships, and the impacts these have on the relational space and on children.
However, knowing the importance of these things is one thing, wanting to implement them in your own relationships is another. That’s why in this expanded article, we’ll be going into more detail on how to actually clean up and make sacred your relational space, and how to make attitude changes that will help you build a lasting marriage.
Cleaning Up and Making Sacred the Relational Space
Eliminating Negative Interactions
Negative interactions like criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and avoidance can quickly pollute your relational space. Therefore, we need to work towards eliminating them.
Criticism involves attacking your partner’s character rather than addressing the issue at hand. Contempt, on the other hand, is a more aggressive form of criticism where we belittle or mock our partner.
Defensiveness is when we start to get defensive when criticized or called out on something. We need to stay open to feedback and understand that it isn’t always about us.
Avoidance is when you don’t address the issues at all and just sweep them under the rug. This is not healthy as it creates a wall between the partners built on insecurities and resentment.
Vulnerability and Safety
To create a safe and sacred relational space, we need to move past these negative interactions and work on becoming more vulnerable. Vulnerability allows us to connect on a deeper level, even if it feels uncomfortable at first.
It opens up a space of safety and trust. Start with small acts of vulnerability, like opening up about your day or what you’ve been struggling with lately.
This encourages your partner to do the same and allows for a natural evolution to occur. The key is feeling safe to be vulnerable.
There should be no judgment when sharing – only empathy and understanding.
Building Intimacy and Connection
To truly build intimacy, it is important to engage in loving behaviors. Show your partner that you care and love them by doing little things that matter.
It can be cooking their favourite meal, writing a love letter, holding hands while walking, and similar. Find common interests.
What do you both enjoy doing together and find time to do them, even if that just means a movie night? Indulge in activities together that bring you both joy.
Remember, intimacy doesn’t just come from sex but from the demonstration of loving behaviours, sharing positive experiences and quality time together builds a stronger bond.
Attitude Changes for Building a Lasting Marriage
Finding the Ideal Marriage
Crafting an ideal marriage starts with finding the ideal partner, but not in the sense where we have to find our soulmate. Do you have the same core values?
Do you respect one another? Do you have similar goals in life?
The key is finding someone who wants to grow with you and who is committed to making the relationship work. Marriage is intentional, which means we must take an active part in bringing our idea of a healthy relationship into fruition.
Staying Committed and Avoiding Divorce
It’s important to stay committed in a relationship, but it takes more than saying you will. Adopting new attitudes is the first step towards avoiding divorce.
For example, dont ever talk about divorce because that will give rise to negative emotions. Instead, focus on what you can do to improve your relationship.
Learn to send positive messages of appreciation, spend time together, and work on healthy communication. The most important aspect of attitude change is communication; if you don’t know what you both need and want, it’s impossible to make the relationship work.
In conclusion, cleaning up and making sacred the relational space in your relationship is essential for building intimacy, safety, and connection. It means eliminating negative interactions, creating a safe space that nurtures vulnerability, and practicing loving behaviours to keep the connection strong.
Along the same lines, finding the ideal partner and crafting a healthy marriage involves adopting new attitudes. It requires commitment, intentional behaviours, and open communication.
All these together lay a solid foundation for a lasting relationship. Remember, relationships are a journey, and there will be bumps.
Adapting, adjusting, improving, and compromising will all have to be part of the process. The goal is to work through all those issues as a team.
Dear reader,
In our previous articles, we talked about the importance of conscious awareness, responsibility, and attitude changes in building healthy and successful relationships. We discussed the importance of cleaning up and making sacred your relational space and building intimacy and connection with your partner.
In this addition, we will look at the benefits of a stable and long-term marriage, not just for children, but also for partners.
The Benefits of a Stable and Long-Term Marriage for Children
Research shows that children who grow up in a stable and long-term marriage generally do better across multiple domains of life. They typically have higher education levels, better mental and physical health, and are less likely to engage in risky behaviours like substance abuse or early sexual activity.
Stable marriage also provides children with a sense of security and safety, essential foundations for healthy brain growth. Children who grow up in broken marriages or in homes where their parents are in constant conflict can suffer from poor emotional development, have severe insecurities, and show difficulty in building healthy relationships in their own lives.
In these circumstances, they are often forced to take on responsibilities that are much too high for their age, which can lead to chronic stress and anxiety. They also may further develop the habit of running away from personal responsibility.
The Benefits of a Stable and Long-Term Marriage for Partners
It’s not just children who benefit from having a stable and long-term marriage. Partners also report higher levels of satisfaction and happiness in their relationships.
When people commit to each other for the long haul, they tend to put in the effort to make things work. This leads to feelings of security, trust, and deep intimacy.
Studies have shown that long-term committed relationships lead to better mental and physical health for individuals. Being in a relationship provides people with emotional support and has been associated with lower levels of depression and anxiety.
Having someone to rely on through good times and bad makes life easier and more fulfilling. Partnerships that last long-term are also likely to offer more financial stability.
Couples who pool their resources into a shared home, bank account, or investment account tend to be less financially strained than their single counterparts. Carrying the responsibilities together results in more efficient management and a great likelihood of achieving their financial goals or at least meeting their basic financial needs.
Conclusion
In conclusion, a stable and long-term commitment to a marriage is associated with numerous benefits, both for children growing up in those families and for the partners themselves. We have consistently seen that children raised in a stable household fare better than those from broken homes.
Similarly, partners committed to each other over a long period of time report more satisfaction, deeper intimacy and connection, better mental and physical health, and overall greater happiness. While marriage and commitment may not come easy, it is worth all the effort and energy to build a long-lasting home for the thriving of all family members and the wider community.
In summary, this article has explored the benefits of stable, long-term marriages for both children and partners. We have gone into detail about how the conscious awareness, responsibility, attitude changes, cleaning up and making sacred relational space, and building intimacy contribute to the successful and healthy functioning of a marriage.
Children that grow up in households with stable and loving relationships are at an advantage with regard to their mental and emotional health, security, education, and quality of life. Partners in committed, long-term relationships also enjoy these benefits, as they report greater life satisfaction, deeper levels of intimacy and better mental and physical health.
Understanding these benefits and proactively working towards building healthy relationships and building that stable foundation is not just beneficial to those within these relationships but the wider society at large.
