The Mating Grounds

The Truth About Revenge Cheating: Why It Doesn’t Work and What to Do Instead

Introduction to Revenge Cheating

Have you ever been cheated on? I mean, really cheated on.

The kind of cheating that tears your heart out and makes you question everything. If you have, you know just how much pain and hurt it can cause.

You might have even considered getting back at your cheating partner by cheating yourself. Welcome to the world of revenge cheating.

Revenge cheating is defined as engaging in infidelity as a way of coping with the pain and hurt caused by being cheated on. It’s a way to level the playing field, to make your cheating partner feel the same pain and hurt you felt.

It’s a way of seeking justice and getting even. But is it really worth it?

Is revenge cheating the right way to deal with the pain of infidelity?

Personal Example of Considering Revenge Cheating

I remember when I found out my partner was cheating on me. My heart shattered into a million pieces.

I was devastated, and I didn’t know how to cope. A friend of mine suggested that I get back at my partner by cheating on him.

At the time, revenge cheating seemed like the perfect solution. But as I thought about it more, I realized that revenge cheating wouldn’t solve anything.

It would only make things worse.

Psychology Behind Revenge Cheating

So, why do people consider revenge cheating? What motivates us to act in such a hurtful way towards our partners?

It all comes down to the emotions we experience after being cheated on. When we are cheated on, we feel a range of emotions, including hurt, embarrassment, betrayal, bitterness, and rage.

These emotions can be overwhelming, and revenge cheating might seem like a way to alleviate them. The motivation behind revenge cheating is often tit-for-tat.

We want to hurt our partners in the same way they hurt us. We want them to feel the same pain we felt.

We also seek justice. We want our partners to know that what they did was wrong and that they should suffer the consequences.

Finally, cultural and religious values can play a role in the decision to revenge cheat. Some cultures and religions view infidelity as a serious offense and believe that revenge cheating is a just response.

Factors Influencing Decision to Revenge Cheat

While revenge cheating might seem like a good idea at the time, it’s important to consider the factors that influence our decision to cheat. Social and emotional damage can affect our decision-making process.

We might feel like revenge cheating is the only way to regain control of the situation and restore our self-worth. The level of anger we feel can also determine whether we decide to cheat.

If we are filled with rage, revenge cheating might seem like the only way to release our anger. Cultural and religious values can also influence our decision to revenge cheat.

Some cultures and religions view infidelity as a serious offense, and believe that revenge cheating is a just response. External elements such as peer pressure, the influence of friends and family, and personal beliefs can also play a role in our decision to cheat.


In conclusion, revenge cheating might seem like an appealing option when we’ve been cheated on, but it’s not a healthy way to deal with the pain of infidelity. Revenge cheating only perpetuates the cycle of hurt, and it doesn’t solve anything.

Instead, it’s important to find healthy ways to cope with the emotions we’re feeling. Seek support from friends and family, talk to a therapist, take care of ourselves, and try to focus on moving forward.

We deserve to be happy and loved, and revenge cheating won’t help us achieve that. So, let’s take care of ourselves and choose to rise above the pain of infidelity.

3) Does Revenge Cheating Work? When we’re hurt, it can be easy to resort to extreme measures in the name of justice.

But when it comes to revenge cheating, the consequences are often far greater than the temporary satisfaction of getting even. One of the biggest negative consequences of revenge cheating is the guilt that comes along with it.

While revenge cheating might make us feel vindicated in the moment, it can also leave us with a heavy weight of shame and regret. This can often be double damage, as we not only feel guilty about our actions, but also about hurting our partner and potentially causing irreparable damage to the relationship.

Mental health can also suffer as a result of revenge cheating. The stress, anxiety, and guilt can take a toll on our overall well-being, leading to issues like depression and difficulty sleeping.

Trust issues can also arise, not just between us and our partner, but also between us and potential future partners. Revenge cheating can lead to a vicious cycle of hurt and betrayal, making it harder and harder to trust others in the future.

So if revenge cheating isn’t the answer, what can we do instead? Alternative ways of coping and healing include taking a step back and retreating into a supportive community.

This could be friends, family, or a therapist who can help us process the emotions we’re feeling without resorting to harmful actions. Following the “no-contact rule” is also a helpful tool in moving on from a cheating partner.

This means cutting off all contact with our ex-partner, including blocking them on social media and deleting their phone number. This may be painful at first, but in the long run, it will help us to heal.

Finally, seeking therapy or counseling can be incredibly beneficial when dealing with the aftermath of infidelity. A therapist can help us work through our emotions and develop healthy coping mechanisms to move forward.

4) How Common is Revenge Cheating? While revenge cheating might seem like a common reaction to being cheated on, it’s actually not very widespread.

In fact, revenge cheating is a relatively rare phenomenon that occurs in less than 5% of infidelity cases. Statistics on infidelity are hard to come by, as many people are hesitant to admit that they’ve cheated or have been cheated on.

However, studies show that around 20-25% of married couples experience infidelity at some point in their relationship. In unmarried couples, this number is slightly lower, but still significant.

When it comes to the prevalence of revenge cheating, the numbers are even smaller. A survey conducted by the University of Tennessee found that only 11% of people who had been cheated on had revenge cheated in response.

So why is revenge cheating not a more common phenomenon? Perhaps it’s because many people realize that it’s not a healthy or productive way to deal with the pain of infidelity.

Or maybe it’s because they’re simply not interested in revenge and choose to deal with the situation in a different way. Whatever the reason, it’s clear that revenge cheating is not the norm when it comes to dealing with infidelity.

Instead, most people choose to cope in healthier ways, such as seeking therapy or ending the relationship altogether. While revenge might seem tempting in the heat of the moment, ultimately it’s not worth the emotional damage that it can cause.

5) 7 Things to Know About Revenge Cheating

Revenge cheating is a natural emotion that many people feel after being cheated on. Here are seven things to consider before making the decision to cheat back.

1. It’s Normal to Want Revenge

Feeling the urge to get revenge is a natural response to being betrayed by someone you love.

It’s important to remember that wanting revenge does not make you a bad person. However, acting on that urge can have negative consequences.

2. Revenge Cheating Worsens the Situation

Cheating back might feel like a quick fix, but it actually makes the situation much worse.

It can escalate the conflict, cause more pain, and further damage the relationship. 3.

Revenge Cheating Delays Healing

Revenge cheating can slow down the healing process. Instead of dealing with the emotions that come with betrayal, revenge cheating only masks the pain for a short period of time.

4. Trust Issues Can Arise

Revenge cheating also has the potential to create trust issues in the future, not just between us and our current partner, but also between us and any potential future partners.

5. Forgiveness Without Revenge is Possible

Forgiveness without revenge is possible, but it requires clear communication and professional help.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning the actions of our cheating partner, but rather letting go of the negative emotions that come with the betrayal. 6.

Rational and Reasonable Thinking Is Important

When dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, it’s important to make logical, reasonable decisions. Emotional decisions can often lead to regret and further damage in the long run.

7. Better Coping Mechanisms Can Be Employed

There are better coping mechanisms available.

For example, creative expression of emotions such as through art and music or finding support from family and friends can help to alleviate the pain. 6)


As tempting as revenge cheating may seem, it’s not a healthy or productive way to deal with the pain of infidelity.

It’s important to address our emotions in healthy ways, whether that be through better coping mechanisms or seeking professional help. Rational and reasonable thinking can help us to make decisions that we won’t regret down the line.

Ultimately, the key to healing and recovery is through forgiveness, without necessarily resorting to revenge. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it in order to move on and find happiness again.

In conclusion, revenge cheating might seem like the perfect way to get back at a cheating partner, but the negative consequences far outweigh any temporary satisfaction. From the guilt and mental health issues to the trust issues and long-term damage to the relationship, revenge cheating is not a healthy or productive way to cope with infidelity.

Instead, it’s important to find better coping mechanisms and seek professional help to properly deal with the emotional trauma caused by infidelity. Through clear communication, rational and reasonable thinking, and forgiveness without revenge, we can heal and move on to find happiness again.

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