The Mating Grounds

The Turmoil of Breakups: Dealing with Exes Who Come Back and How to Move Forward

Why Exes Come Back and How to Deal with the Emotional Aftermath of Breakups

Breakups are never easy, and it’s common for exes to come back into our lives, sometimes unexpectedly. It can be confusing and emotionally draining to navigate these situations.

However, by understanding their reasons for coming back and how to deal with the emotional aftermath of breakups, we can gain clarity and move forward with our lives.

Reasons for Contact

Chemistry, disappeared, rejection, closure, forgetting, emotionally unavailable, healing, forgiveness, and change are some of the reasons why exes come back. Sometimes, an ex may reach out because they miss the chemistry and connection you shared.

Alternatively, they may have disappeared or rejected you in the past and are now seeking closure. It’s also possible that they have been emotionally unavailable in the past and have now changed.

Sometimes, an ex may be contacting you because they are seeking healing or forgiveness from past actions. Understanding the reasons for contact can help you approach the situation with a clear mind.

Lonely and Seeking Emotional Support

Sometimes, exes come back because they are feeling lonely and need emotional support. They may send a text hoping to engage you in conversation and receive validation for their actions.

However, it’s important to remember that your ex’s problems are not your responsibility. It’s okay to be flattered by their attention, but make sure that it’s not purely a selfish attempt at flattery.

Idealizing the Past

When we idealize the past, we can be quick to forget old problems and focus on the good things. It’s not uncommon for exes to come back under these circumstances, hoping to recapture what they once had.

However, it’s important to take a step back and think about whether the relationship was healthy and worthwhile. It’s important to remember that bigger problems may have existed that should not be ignored.

Looking for Sex

Sometimes, exes come back purely for physical reasons. They may be going through a dry spell or see you as an easy option.

If you are not interested in these type of interactions, make sure to set boundaries and stand firm on your decisions.

Genuine Regret

While some exes come back for selfish reasons, others come back with genuine regret. It can be difficult to distinguish between the two, but a good signal is how they approach the conversation.

They may acknowledge their mistakes and express heartbreak and tears. In these circumstances, forgiveness and healing may be possible.

The Emotional Aftermath of Breakups

Going through a breakup can be difficult and emotionally draining. After all, we invest a lot of time and effort into relationships and it can be hard to let go.

Here are some ways to navigate the emotional aftermath of breakups.

Feeling Rejected

One of the most common emotions we experience after a breakup is feeling unwanted and rejected. It’s natural to question what went wrong and wonder if you could have done something differently.

However, it’s important to remember that the relationship was not solely your responsibility. Take time to build up your confidence and focus on your own mental and emotional well-being.

Going Through the Healing Process

Crying, feeling anger, and working through mistakes are all part of the healing process. It’s important to acknowledge your emotions and take the time to work through them.

Forgiveness can also be an important part of the healing process, both for yourself and for your ex.

Learning to Leave the Past Behind

It can be difficult to leave the past behind, but it’s crucial to moving forward. This means forgiving yourself and your ex, and focusing on the present and future.

Closure can be an essential part of this process, whether through talking to your ex or finding other ways to move on.

Dealing with Negative Emotions

Loneliness, security, and emotional support are all common negative emotions that can occur after a breakup. It’s important to acknowledge and work through these emotions in a healthy and productive way.

This may mean seeking support from friends and family, or finding ways to focus on your own personal growth.

Considering Getting Back Together

Considering getting back together with an ex can be a risky decision. It’s important to weigh the risks and evaluate whether the relationship is truly healthy and worthwhile.

Heartbreak and healing are part of the process, but it’s important to believe that the effort is worthwhile if you choose to embark on it.


Going through a breakup is never easy, but by understanding the reasons why exes come back and how to navigate the emotional aftermath of breakups, we can gain clarity and move forward with our lives. By focusing on forgiveness, closure, and personal growth, we can leave the past behind and look forward to a brighter future.

In conclusion, dealing with exes who come back and the emotional aftermath of breakups can be a challenging and emotional process. It’s important to understand the reasons for contact and approach the situation with a clear mind.

By focusing on forgiveness, healing, and personal growth, we can navigate the difficult emotions that come with a breakup. Remembering that the relationship was not solely our responsibility and learning to leave the past behind are crucial steps towards moving forward.

Ultimately, while it may be difficult, focusing on personal growth and the future allows us to find happiness and fulfillment outside a relationship.

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