The Mating Grounds

Unicorns in Relationships: The Ethical Guide to Adding a Third

Unicorns in a Relationship: Understanding and Approaching Them

Are you in a committed relationship but have been considering adding a third person into the mix? Maybe you’ve heard the term “unicorn” thrown around in relation to polyamorous relationships, but aren’t quite sure what it means or how to approach it.

Fear not, my friend, we’re here to give you the lowdown on unicorns in relationships and how to approach them ethically and honestly. Part 1: Understanding the Unicorn in a Relationship

So, what exactly is a unicorn in a relationship?

A unicorn is a term used to describe a third person who is romantically and/or sexually involved with an already established couple. In a polyamorous relationship, the couple is open to the idea of simultaneous involvement with other people, hence the unicorn’s role in the triad.

The idea of a unicorn sounds intriguing, but they’re actually quite rare and difficult to find. It takes a special person who is open to the dynamics of a polyamorous relationship and willing to navigate the challenges that come with it.

Hence, the term “unicorn” is fitting. Part 2: How to Approach a Unicorn

Assuming you’re in a committed relationship and have decided that adding a unicorn to your dynamic could work, how do you go about approaching them?

First and foremost, you need to be sure that you’re both on the same page and have no expectations. It’s important to be open, honest, and communicate clearly throughout the entire process.

Finding a unicorn can be difficult, but social media and dating apps have made it easier than ever before. However, when creating a profile on dating apps, be sure to represent yourself honestly and accurately to avoid any misinterpretations or awkward situations further down the line.

If you do connect with a potential unicorn, it’s crucial to be a good person. Treat them with respect, kindness, and honesty.

Remember, they’re not just a means to fulfill your desires, but a person with their own thoughts, feelings, and boundaries. Before any romantic or sexual interactions occur, it’s essential to have an honest conversation about setting guidelines and boundaries.

Establishing rules and communication beforehand can help prevent misunderstandings and hurt feelings down the line. Remember, the relationship you’re cultivating is first and foremost about respect and equal pleasure for all parties involved.


Adding a unicorn to your relationship can be a fulfilling and exciting experience when done ethically and with honest communication. While unicorns may be rare, finding the right person takes time and effort.

Being open, honest, and mindful of the other person’s feelings is key to building a successful triad. Remember, polyamory is all about mutual respect and satisfaction.

So go forth, dear reader, and happy hunting for your unicorn!

Part 3: Rules of Being a Unicorn in a Relationship

Now that we’ve discussed how to approach a unicorn in a relationship, let’s talk about the rules of being a unicorn. Being a unicorn can be a rewarding experience, but it’s important to put yourself first, state your needs and wants, and establish guidelines to maintain mutual respect and trust.

Self-care is crucial when being a unicorn. It’s important to prioritize your own well-being and set your own boundaries.

Don’t let the couple’s desires overshadow your own needs and wants. Taking care of yourself not only benefits you, but it also ensures the success of the triad.

Communication is key in any relationship, and it’s especially important for unicorns. Being clear about your expectations and boundaries helps establish trust and respect between all parties involved.

Don’t be afraid to speak up and voice your opinions or concerns. Mutual respect and trust are fundamental in any relationship, and being a unicorn is no exception.

You should be treated with respect, and your feelings and boundaries should be respected at all times. Trust is built through open communication and establishing guidelines that work for all parties involved.

Establishing guidelines is necessary to create a safe and enjoyable experience for everyone involved. This may include setting boundaries around how much time you spend with the couple or what activities you engage in with them.

Guidelines should be determined through open communication and mutual agreement to ensure that everyone’s needs are being met. Part 4: Misconceptions About Unicorns

There are many misconceptions surrounding unicorns, particularly around their gender and sexual orientation.

Here are some common misconceptions that need to be corrected:

– Unicorns are not exclusively bisexual women. While bisexual women may be more commonly sought after as unicorns, anyone who is open to the dynamics of a polyamorous relationship can be a unicorn.

– Unicorns are not solely for sex. While there may be sexual components to the relationship, unicorns can also provide emotional support and companionship to the couple.

The relationship can be just as much about the emotional connection as it is about the physical connection. – Unicorns do not need to be bisexual.

Some unicorns may identify as heterosexual or homosexual, but that doesn’t mean they’re not open to the dynamics of a polyamorous relationship. Being a unicorn is about being open to the possibility of simultaneous involvement with an established couple.

– Unicorns may want exclusivity. Just as with any other relationship, individual preferences vary.

Some unicorns may only want to be involved with one couple at a time, while others may be open to multiple relationships. It’s important to have open communication and establish guidelines to ensure that everyone’s expectations and boundaries are being met.


Being a unicorn in a relationship can be a rewarding and fulfilling experience when done ethically and honestly. Remember to prioritize your own needs and wants, communicate clearly, and establish guidelines that work for everyone involved.

Don’t let misconceptions about unicorns cloud your judgement, as anyone can be a unicorn regardless of their gender or sexual orientation. As long as there is mutual respect and trust, being a unicorn can provide emotional and physical satisfaction for all parties involved.

Part 5: FAQs

As we’ve discussed, unicorns play a unique role in a polyamorous relationship. However, there are still some frequently asked questions that need to be addressed.

Let’s take a deeper look. Can a unicorn be a male?

When people think of unicorns, they often think of female bisexuals. However, unicorns can be any gender identity or sexual orientation.

The term “unicorn” is meant to describe someone who is an added third to a relationship, not necessarily a specific gender. Being open to the idea of a polyamorous relationship and willing to navigate its challenges is what makes someone a unicorn – not just their gender identity or sexual orientation.

How do you know if you’re a unicorn? Being a unicorn means being open to the idea of simultaneous involvement with an established couple.

If you’re interested in exploring polyamorous relationships with a couple who is already in an established relationship, you may be a unicorn. This involves being willing to navigate the dynamics of a triad, being clear about your boundaries and expectations, and prioritizing your own well-being throughout the entire process.

Tips on being a good unicorn

To be a good unicorn, it’s important to prioritize communication, trust, and respect. This means being honest about your expectations and boundaries from the outset and establishing guidelines for the relationship that work for everyone.

Building trust through open and honest communication ensures that all parties feel comfortable and secure in the relationship. Additionally, respecting your own needs and boundaries is crucial to ensuring a healthy and happy triad.

Remember that, as a unicorn, you’re your own person with your own thoughts, feelings, and boundaries. Being a good listener, expressing gratitude, understanding personal limits, and setting healthy boundaries can also contribute to a positive and fulfilling experience for all parties involved.


In conclusion, unicorns play a unique role in polyamorous relationships and can bring joy, companionship, and intimacy to a couple’s dynamic. Gender identity and sexual orientation are not factors that define whether someone can be a unicorn or not; rather, it’s being open and comfortable with the idea of polyamory that qualifies an individual.

Being a good unicorn requires prioritizing communication, trust, and respect, and being clear about your own needs and boundaries. Remember to prioritize self-care and enjoy the unique experience of being a unicorn in a relationship.

In conclusion, understanding and approaching unicorns in a relationship requires openness, honesty, and mutual respect. It is important to prioritize self-care, communicate clearly, and establish guidelines that work for everyone involved.

Unicorns can be invaluable to a polyamorous dynamic, providing emotional and physical satisfaction when approached ethically and honestly. The misconceptions surrounding unicorns further underscore the need for clear communication and mutual respect in all relationships.

By keeping these tips in mind and fostering healthy, respectful relationships, we can all create fulfilling and rewarding connections with others.

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