Have you ever heard of arranged marriages? Chances are, you have.
Perhaps you’ve read about it in a book or watched it in a movie. Or maybe you even know someone who has gone through it.
But what do you really know about arranged marriages? Let’s take a closer look and debunk some common misconceptions.
Misconceptions about Arranged Marriages
Arranged marriages have been around for centuries, and it is still practiced in many countries, particularly in Southeast Asia. Unfortunately, it is often portrayed in a negative light, with stereotypes labeling it as forced, a business transaction, or an agreement to maintain familial prestige.
But the truth is, not all arranged marriages are like that. In fact, many arranged marriages involve two people who are already interested in each other.
The only difference is that their elders, parents, or a matchmaker sets them up. This is done to ensure that the couple will have similar values, beliefs, and goals in life.
Plus, having a third party involved can provide a support system and help mediate any issues that may arise in the future.
Portrayal in Media
When we think of arranged marriages in media, we often see a female protagonist being married off to a wealthy, uncaring husband, with a terrible mother-in-law thrown into the mix. But that is not always the case.
Again, it comes back to the misconception that arranged marriages are all about business and not about love. In reality, arranged marriages can be just as romantic as love marriages.
It just happens that the process of getting there may look different. But that doesn’t mean that the feelings of love, respect, and admiration aren’t there.
It’s just expressed in different ways.
Beliefs about Love Marriage vs Arranged Marriage
We’ve all been exposed to the popular belief that love marriages are better than arranged marriages. We’ve seen it in fairy tales, movies, and dramas where the protagonist falls in love with their soulmate and everything magically falls into place.
But in reality, we know that relationships are not always that simple. Arranged marriages provide a different perspective on relationships.
It’s not about the initial spark, but more about building a foundation that can last a lifetime. It’s about finding someone who can share the same values and goals in life.
It’s about understanding that love is not the only factor in a successful marriage.
Definition of Arranged Marriage
Arranged marriages involve a third party making the decision, which could be the elder, parents, a matchmaker, or even an app. Yes, there are even apps that help facilitate arranged marriages! Technology has come a long way in helping people find their life partner.
Geographical and Societal Differences
Arranged marriages are not just a thing of the past. It is still practiced today, particularly in Southeast Asian countries where tradition plays a big role in the culture.
However, as time goes on, there are changes in societal norms, which can affect how arranged marriages are carried out. For example, in modern times, there is a shift towards a more egalitarian approach to marriage, where both parties have equal say in the decision.
It’s not just about the parents or elders making the decision for their children. It’s about ensuring that both parties are happy with the decision and that they have a say in who they marry.
Conclusion
In conclusion, arranged marriages are not what we often see in media. It’s not all about forced marriages or agreements to maintain familial prestige.
It’s about finding a life partner who shares similar values and goals in life. It’s about building a foundation strong enough to last a lifetime.
It’s about understanding that love isn’t the only factor in a successful relationship. Arranged marriage is a practice that has been around for centuries, and it still has a place in modern society.
It’s worth recognizing the differences and debunking common misconceptions to have a better understanding and appreciation of this tradition. Arranged marriages have always received a bad rap.
They are often perceived as marriages between individuals who barely know each other, with no way out once the bond is sealed. Although choosing a life partner is a personal decision, many fail to look beyond the surface when it comes to arranged marriages.
Let’s dive deeper into some of these negative perceptions and try to uncover the truth.
Negative Perceptions of Arranged Marriage
Fear of Marrying Someone You Barely Know
One of the most common fears associated with arranged marriages is the fear of marrying someone you barely know. The thought of spending your whole life with someone you don’t know can be frightening.
However, arranged marriages are not always conducted in such a manner. In many societies, the process involves a courtship period where the two individuals get to know each other.
There may also be instances where the individuals have met each other before and have expressed interest in getting married.
Ultimately, arranged marriage is not any different from love marriage in this aspect.
Both options involve taking a chance on spending life with someone you choose. It is essential to look beyond popular beliefs and seek the truth about arranged marriage in contemporary society.
Warped Definition of Arranged Marriage in Some Societies
In some societies, arranged marriage is a concept that comes with a lot of ultimatums. Failure to comply with the expectations of the family, especially for women, can result in disgrace.
These societies have warped the definition of arranged marriage, making it more about control than about two people coming together. It is important to understand that parents and elders have a duty to ensure that their children make sound decisions regarding their life partners.
However, it is equally important to note that societal pressures and family bias should not play a role in deciding who to marry. Arranged marriage, when done in the right way, is a beautiful practice that focuses on compatibility and long-term companionship.
Disregard for Individual Feelings
Arranged marriages are often associated with young, naive individuals who are unable to make important decisions for themselves. In such instances, the individual’s feelings are disregarded.
A major disadvantage of this is the potential for one-sided marriages, which are not sustainable in the long run. Individual feelings are at the core of any relationship.
Thus, it is important to recognize the importance of considering individual feelings when choosing a life partner, either via arranged or love marriage. In contemporary socio-cultural environments, arranged marriages are less likely to involve parents or elders who are biased and disregard the individual’s feelings.
Advantages of Arranged Marriage
Contrary to popular belief, arranged marriages come with a few advantages.
Lower Expectations
The courtship process of an arranged marriage can lower the expectations an individual has of their chosen partner. In a love marriage, there are already high expectations that the partner has to live up to.
In contrast, the process of getting to know each other in an arranged marriage is more gradual, allowing less room for disappointment in the long run.
Easier Adjustments
Arranged marriages involve a lot of flexibility and adjustment from both parties. Since they do not know each other well, they both make an effort to understand and adapt to each other’s personalities and preferences.
Although this process can be challenging at first, it ultimately leads to acceptance and compromise. This is unlike love marriages, where the parties are typically in love and unwilling to adjust.
Lesser Conflicts
Arranged marriages can lead to fewer marital conflicts. The adjustment and acceptance of each other’s personalities and preferences mean that both individuals are more likely to compromise, leading to fewer disagreements.
The process of getting to know each other in an arranged marriage is more gradual, leading to more thoughtful and harmonious relationship building.
Support from Family
One of the key advantages of arranged marriages is the support from the family at the start of the marriage. Marriage can be challenging, and proper support, both material and emotional, can make the process easier.
The success rate of arranged marriages is higher when parents and elders are involved in the process.
Conclusion
Through a deeper dive into the negative perceptions and advantages of arranged marriages, it is evident that there is more to this practice than meets the eye. As a society that primarily values love marriage, we must understand the benefits of arranged marriage, recognize that it can work, and acknowledge that different individuals have different preferences when it comes to choosing a life partner.
When it comes to arranged marriages, the success rate is often a topic of debate. We’ve explored some of the negative perceptions and advantages of arranged marriages, but are they really successful?
Let’s take a closer look and explore personal accounts of arranged marriages.
Success of Arranged Marriage
Personal Account of Arranged Marriage
One such personal account is that of Ashvini Mashru, who shares her experience of an arranged marriage in a Huffington Post article. Ashvini shares that when her father introduced her to her future husband, she was initially hesitant.
However, after getting to know him, she realized that he was everything she wanted in a partner. Ashvini’s account is an example of how arranged marriages can work when approached with an open mind and heart.
It’s not about being forced into a marriage, but rather being open to the possibility of finding love and companionship in a person you may not have met otherwise.
Importance of Individual Agency
It is important to recognize that arranged marriages should not disregard individual agency. Power dynamics have no place in the decision-making process.
Ultimately, the decision to marry should lie with the individual and not be completely reliant on the say-so of third-party players. Individuals are empowered to create the life they want.
Each person knows what is best for them and can achieve their dreams through their chosen path, whether that be through arranged marriage or love marriage. It is vital that individuals recognize and prioritize their own agency when it comes to choosing a life partner.
Key to a Successful Marriage
The key to a successful marriage, whether arranged or love, is the decision to stay committed and take it from there. It’s important to recognize that no marriage is perfect, and both parties must be willing to work through the ups and downs of the relationship.
Whether the marriage starts through an arranged process or not, the success of a marriage is ultimately determined by the individuals involved. Arranged marriages are not a set-in-stone experience.
In many contemporary arrangements, it involves two individuals coming together on a mutually acceptable courtship. Both parties have an opportunity to get to know each other and make an informed decision about spending the rest of their lives together.
Final Thoughts
Arranged marriages have their own set of advantages and disadvantages, and success cannot be guaranteed solely on this one factor. Ultimately, a successful marriage is defined by the individuals involved and their willingness to make the relationship work.
Whether it is arranged or love, relationships take effort, patience, and a commitment to one another. We must recognize and respect individuals’ choices when it comes to choosing a life partner, while staying open to the possibility of arranged marriage leading to lasting love and companionship.
In conclusion, arranged marriages have long been the subject of debate and cultural traditions. Given some of the negative perceptions surrounding arranged marriages, we must acknowledge the strengths and advantages this approach offers.
The decision to choose a life partner is personal and should emphasize individuals’ agency; arranged marriages, if conducted in a healthy manner, can help foster a successful, loving relationship. From reports of personal experiences to the practical benefits of arranged marriages, it is evident that this option should not be discounted or disregarded in today’s society.
Ultimately, it’s up to the individuals to determine if the practice aligns with their perspectives, but it is worth exploring the principles of this tradition when considering a life-long commitment to a partner.
