Mental Barriers, Thoughts, and Feelings Around Sex After Divorce
Going through a divorce can be an emotionally challenging and stressful experience. It can take a toll on your mental and physical well-being, leaving you feeling vulnerable and uncertain about your sexuality.
The thought of having sex with someone new or old can trigger negative emotions such as anxiety, fear, and guilt, creating mental barriers that hinder your sexual expression. However, it’s important to remember that these thoughts and feelings are normal and can be overcome through self-enquiry.
Importance of Self-Enquiry
Self-enquiry is the process of introspection and self-awareness, that helps you to understand who you are, what you want, and how you can achieve it. It involves identifying your primary love languages, your relationship attachment style, and your authentic self, which will help you to navigate your sexual desires and needs after divorce.
Are you someone who prefers physical touch or words of affirmation? Do you tend to avoid intimacy or cling too much to your partner?
Taking time to understand yourself and your wants and needs is critical in ensuring a fulfilling sexual experience.
Being Realistic and Dealing with Trauma
Divorce is not an easy process, and the trauma it leaves behind could significantly affect your sexual expression. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a common experience for those that have gone through a divorce.
It’s crucial to seek support from a therapist, social support groups, or even close friends. It’s okay to grieve and let yourself feel all the emotions that come with it.
Remember to remind yourself to stay positive and open to possibilities.
Communicating Desires and Making Agreements
One of the most important things after a divorce is to communicate your desires and make agreements instead of having unrealistic expectations. It is critical to trust your partner and make sure you show them that they can trust you too.
Don’t rush or force anything. Patience and acceptance are vital in establishing a healthy sexual relationship.
Tips for Better Sex After Divorce
Now that we’ve addressed some of the mental barriers, thoughts, and feelings, let’s dive into some tips and techniques for better sex after divorce.
Practice Honest Self-Enquiry
As we earlier touched on, self-awareness is crucial in unlocking your sexual potential, and practicing honest self-enquiry is the best way to achieve it. By identifying your authentic self, primary love languages, and relationship attachment style, you can explore and enjoy your sexuality fully.
Be Realistic while Open to Possibilities, Deal with Your Trauma
It’s vital to remind yourself to be realistic and open-minded while also dealing with your trauma. Seeking support from either a therapist or a social support group can help you process your emotions and recover from trauma.
It’s important to be gentle with yourself and give yourself time to heal before engaging in sexual activity. Communicate Desires, Drop Expectations, and Make Agreements Instead
Communicate Desires, Drop Expectations, and Make Agreements Instead
Openly communicating your desires and wants while also dropping expectations and making agreements with your partner is necessary for healthy sexual relationships.
Trust and acceptance are crucial in establishing and maintaining sexual connections.
Fill Your Life with Multiple Things, Maintain Your Hobbies
After divorce, it’s vital to reinvent yourself and rediscover lost parts of yourself.
Engaging in various activities and hobbies helps you to adapt to the new changes and also helps to keep you fulfilled. This can lead to greater satisfaction in your sexual relationships as well.
Safeguard Yourself
Always remember to practice safe sex. Communicate with your partner about sexual protection and dive into the dating pool with a sense of caution.
Set Sex Goals and Do Sex Experiments
Setting goals can enhance sexual confidence and lead to adventurous and fulfilling sex experiences. Experimenting with different positions, toys, and techniques can lead you to discover what works for you.
Keep Fit and Healthy – Eat Well and Exercise, Dance
Good physical health directly impacts your mental health, and eating well, exercising, and engaging in social activities like dancing, release endorphins that improve your mood and overall mental health.
Confide in a Trusted Friend/Coach or Mentor
Talking about your sexual experiences and desires can be challenging because of sexual shaming.
However, confiding in a trusted friend or coach can help in overcoming this obstacle. Establishing a regular communication habit with your mentor or friend helps build sexual confidence and open up about your intimacy after divorce.
Learn Tantra
Tantra is a way of life that focuses on interconnection and conscious engagement with our suppressed emotions and desires, which can lead to greater freedom and pleasure.
Buy New Underwear and Clothing
Investing in new underwear and clothing that makes you feel empowered and confident can boost your self-esteem and lead to amazing sex experiences.
Conclusion
After divorce, navigating through the sexual world can be challenging, but by developing self-awareness, being gentle with yourself, and embracing sexual adventures, you can unlock your sexual potential and enjoy fulfilling sexual relationships. In conclusion, going through a divorce can create mental barriers, thoughts, and feelings that hinder sexual expression.
However, by practicing honest self-enquiry, being realistic, dealing with trauma, communicating desires, making agreements, engaging in multiple activities, safeguarding yourself, setting sex goals, keeping fit and healthy, confiding in trusted friends, learning tantra, and investing in new clothing, you can overcome these barriers and enjoy fulfilling sexual relationships. It’s important to give yourself time to heal, be gentle with yourself, and keep an open mind.
With these tips and techniques, you can unlock your sexual potential and enjoy a healthy, and adventurous sexual experience.
