Cheating in Love: Why Do We Do It?
Have you ever been cheated on or cheated on someone? It’s a painful experience that leaves a lifelong impact. Unfortunately, infidelity is more common than most of us would like to admit. According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, 15% of wives and 25% of husbands have had extramarital affairs. Furthermore, a survey conducted by YouGov shows that 28% of American adults in a relationship have committed “micro-cheating,” such as secretly texting someone else.
So why do people cheat in love? Let’s explore some reasons.
Reasons for Infidelity
1. Physical Affairs
One reason people cheat is passion. Physical attraction and sexual desire for someone other than their partner can lead to infidelity. It’s essential to understand that feeling attracted to someone else while in a relationship is normal, but acting on that attraction is not. If you have strong feelings for someone else, you have to communicate with your partner about it.
That means being honest and transparent. It’s unfair to keep secrets, and it’s better to end the relationship than to cheat.
2. Phone Snubbing
Technology also plays a part in cheating. With the rise of social media and dating apps, it’s so easy to reach out to someone else. Sometimes, people engage in emotional affairs by texting, calling, or messaging someone else behind their partner’s back. If you find yourself frequently checking your phone for any new message or notification from someone else, it’s time to reflect on whether you’re treating your partner fairly.
3. Personal Experience and Decision to Change
Many people also struggle with affairs because of personal issues. Past traumas, insecurities, and low self-esteem can lead to temptation. Engaging in an extramarital affair might seem like a way to escape one’s problems or temporarily achieve happiness. However, this is not a healthy coping mechanism, and one must seek professional help to heal.
It’s essential to realize that the downside of cheating outweighs any temporary pleasure it provides.
4. Codependency as a Reason for Cheating
Codependency is another reason people might cheat. Codependency is an excessive reliance on one’s partner to satisfy one’s emotional and physical needs. Codependent individuals often neglect their own interests and prioritize their partner’s behavior, beliefs, and feelings. A codependent person might feel incomplete or helpless without their partner’s love and approval.
Characteristics of Codependency
One characteristic of a codependent relationship is the lack of independence. In a codependent relationship, one partner dominates the other to the point that the other’s sense of self becomes subordinated. The codependent partner doesn’t want to abandon the relationship but feels trapped in it. Additionally, a codependent partner might make excuses for their partner’s bad behavior or tolerate it to avoid conflict.
Effects of Codependency on Relationships
Codependent people might cheat to feel a sense of control or freedom. It’s essential to understand that codependency negatively impacts relationships. Codependency leads to sensitivity, frustration, and constant miscommunication. It’s like walking on eggshells around your partner, waiting for the next outburst or emotional punishment.
Codependency is crazy-making, and the only path to healing is through unravelling the emotional and mental dependencies that exist between the partners.
5. Resentments as a Reason for Cheating
When we are in a relationship, we sometimes find ourselves feeling resentment towards our partner. Resentment is a normal response system when we feel stressed or overwhelmed, but it can be unhealthy if it remains unresolved.
Unresolved resentments can lead to cheating, as it brings a momentary sense of relief or a feeling of validation as a human being, but it will eventually lead to long-lasting damage to the relationship.
Unresolved Resentments in Relationships
When we are in a relationship, we sometimes expect our partners to know what we want without having to verbalize it, and when they do not satisfy that expectation, we often feel resentful. We might feel resentful when they do not accommodate our needs and wants or if they prioritize their own.
Resentment can build up over time if we do not address these needs or preferences; eventually, we might feel like the only solution is to engage in extramarital affairs.
It’s important to remember that resentment is a normal response system, and it happens to everyone. The key difference between unhealthy resentment that breeds toxicity and healthy love affairs is learning how to communicate our needs in a constructive way. If we can learn how to discuss our issues and communicate our needs in a constructive manner, healthy love affairs are possible.
Importance of Voicing Resentments
In order to avoid unhealthy feelings of resentment in a relationship, communication is a must. Communication is what will allow your relationship to thrive and avoid cheating.
When we don’t communicate our needs or preferences in an open and honest way with our partners, it can lead to animosity and create feelings of resentment.
In order to move past this, voicing our resentments in a healthy, non-accusatory way is critical. When we express our feelings verbally and address the issue at hand, we are not only finding a solution to the problem but also communicating our desires to our partner. This minimizes the possibility of harboring unsaid and unresolved resentments, eventually leading to infidelity.
6. Self-centeredness and Entitlement as a Reason for Cheating
Another reason people cheat is due to personality characteristics such as self-centeredness and entitlement. These people rationalize and justify cheating in their mind, finding excuses for it.
They may defend their behavior, saying that they must enjoy life to the fullest no matter the cost, or that the relationship is restrictive and they need to be free. They might see their lifestyle as a luxury and believe that they are entitled to the best of everything: including multiple relationships.
It’s difficult to change self-centered and entitled behavior since those who act this way refuse to change. They might see their actions as innocent, making excuses for their actions and justifying them as not hurting anyone.
This lack of accountability and refusal to change creates an environment that is impossible to maintain in a long-term and healthy relationship.
Rationalizing, Justifying, and Defending Affairs
Selfishness can lead people to cheat since they feel entitled to have multiple relationships. Rationalizing and justifying affairs is common, and they believe these actions will make them feel good about themselves. It’s essential to understand that this kind of behavior often stems from a lack of self-respect since they seek validation from others to bring happiness and feel good.
Their lifestyle might be luxurious, but it is rarely fulfilling since the impossibility of maintaining a relationship without trust or loyalty.
Difficulty in Changing Self-centered and Entitled Behavior
Unfortunately, changing someone who is self-centered or entitled can be a challenge. Those who act this way refuse to change.
They might be incapable of looking beyond themselves, even when it’s clear that their behavior is hurting others. They become immune to the pain they cause since they believe their sense of entitlement and self-centeredness is justified.
If we are faced with such challenges, it’s important to know the person’s character before engaging in any form of commitment. In conclusion, cheating can occur due to various reasons, from unresolved resentments to self-centeredness and entitlement.
It’s essential to address these issues in any relationship and find ways to communicate effectively and constructively. In the case of self-centeredness and entitlement, the challenge is real; it might be impossible to change their worldview, leading to infidelity.
A healthy relationship is founded on trust, loyalty, and open communication, and maintaining a relationship that satisfies these criteria can prevent cheating and foster longevity.
7. Boredom as a Reason for Cheating
Boredom is another reason people cheat. We all have a need for creativity and excitement in our lives, and when that isn’t fulfilled, some may stray outside of their monogamous, committed relationship to seek satisfaction.
The impact of boredom on relationships can be devastating, leading to a pattern of unfulfilling love lives that are ultimately damaging.
Impact of Boredom on Relationships
Boredom can cause people to shut out their partners, disengaging from their love life. This causes a feeling of dissatisfaction and therefore triggers someone to seek it out elsewhere. In doing so, it creates a ripple effect that destroys trust and brings harm to those who are cheated on. It’s extremely important to come to terms with the root of the problem, which is often related to the lack of excitement, creative stimulation, or general personal happiness.
Shutting Out Partners and Seeking Satisfaction Outside Relationships
If your love life isn’t fulfilling, it can trigger feelings of dissatisfaction, leading you to seek satisfaction outside of your relationship. This is a pattern that often goes unnoticed until it’s too late. However, recognizing the signs is essential to prevent cheating.
Suppose you’ve been feeling unfulfilled or disengaged from your love life. In that case, it’s important to seek professional help to get to the root of the problem and restore excitement and creativity to your life.
Importance of Integrity and Seeking Help
Cheating has grave consequences on both the cheater and their partner. It ultimately leads to low self-confidence, low self-esteem, shame, and guilt, which can take considerable time and effort to overcome.
It’s important to be accountable for one’s actions and strive to regain integrity not only for the sake of your partner but also for your own well-being and self-respect.
Consequences of Cheating
Cheating has emotional consequences that resonate throughout a person’s life. It can lead to a sense of loss, betrayal, and mistrust that will damage a relationship severely. Infidelity also creates distance, causing emotional pain that often leads to a great deal of resentment and sometimes anger. However, the consequences of cheating are not limited to the relationships that are damaged.
It can also have a long-term effect on someone’s ability to trust, to form intimate relationships and engage in healthy behaviors. Infidelity, therefore, is something all should strive to avoid altogether.
Importance of Seeking Professional Help for Self-Improvement
It’s essential to be honest about one’s actions, and seek professional help for self-improvement. This can take the form of seeking out a therapist or counselor. Through speaking with a professional, one can address any personal issues or pent-up resentments that are impacting their relationship. Seeking professional help means one has the courage to confront their problems rather than ignoring them, and actively working towards a healthier, more positive experience.
In conclusion, there are different reasons why people cheat, and it’s essential to address these issues in any relationship. Boredom can cause feelings of dissatisfaction, leading to a pattern of cheating that damages relationships.
Cheating and its consequences can severely impact one’s emotional state, affecting their self-esteem and ability to form healthy relationships in the future. Seeking professional help is essential for self-improvement and regaining integrity, self-respect, and commitment to positivity and forward-thinking.
Remember, integrity is an internal power that promotes positive behaviors and creates a positive environment. Being aware of the issues that can cause cheating and confronting them head-on with the help of professionals can ensure a healthy and successful relationship.
In Conclusion
Cheating is a complex issue that can stem from various reasons. Infidelity can lead to a pattern of unfulfilling love lives that are ultimately damaging.
Whether it be due to unresolved resentment, self-centeredness and entitlement, boredom, or other factors, addressing these issues in any relationship is essential. Healthy relationships are founded on trust, loyalty, and open communication, and maintaining a relationship that satisfies these criteria can prevent cheating and foster longevity.
It’s essential to be accountable for our actions and strive to regain integrity and self-respect while seeking professional help to address issues. Remember, integrity is an internal power that promotes positive behaviors and creates a positive environment.
By addressing these problems with the help of professionals, you can ensure a healthier, more positive, and successful relationship.
