Why Love Sucks and How to Deal with It
Hey, you. Yeah, you.
Have you ever felt like love is just one big disappointment after another? Like each time you fall in love, you end up feeling dumb, blind, and hurt?
Trust me, you’re not alone. Many people experience the same feelings of frustration, confusion, and disappointment when it comes to love.
But why does it suck so much? And what can we do about it?
Let’s dive in.
Reasons why love sucks
Love makes us look foolish
Let’s face it – love can make us do some pretty dumb things. From sending cringy texts to making fools of ourselves in front of our crushes, love can turn us into total idiots.
But why? Well, when we’re in love, our brains release hormones like dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin, which give us a natural high and make us act impulsively.
We might say or do things that we wouldn’t normally do, simply because we’re under the spell of love.
Love stops us from seeing the truth
Have you ever been in a relationship where you knew deep down that something wasn’t right, but you just couldn’t admit it to yourself? That’s because love can sometimes blind us to the truth.
We might ignore red flags, deny problems, or make excuses for our partner’s behavior because we don’t want to face the reality that love isn’t perfect.
Love is wasted on those who don’t deserve it
Have you ever poured your heart and soul into a relationship, only to have the other person not appreciate it or take advantage of you?
It’s a painful feeling, but unfortunately, it happens all too often. Love can be a huge investment of time, energy, and emotions, and it can hurt when we feel like our efforts aren’t being reciprocated.
Love is full of false promises
We’ve all been sold the lie of “happily ever after” and the idea that love can solve all our problems. But in reality, love is messy, complicated, and full of faults.
No one is perfect, and even the strongest relationships have their ups and downs. Love can’t solve all our problems, and it’s important to be realistic about what it can and can’t do.
Love is a big ‘ol faker
Sometimes, love can feel like a trick – like it’s not really the real deal. We might worry that our partner is just pretending to love us, or that we’re not as in love as we think we are.
This fear of trickery can lead to a lot of confusion and anxiety.
Love can be confused with sex
Love and sex are often intertwined, but they’re not the same thing. It’s important to distinguish between intimacy and physical pleasure, and to make sure we’re not confusing the two.
Otherwise, we risk getting hurt and feeling used.
Love can make us feel like awful people
Have you ever been rejected by someone you love? Or felt unrequited love for someone who doesn’t feel the same way?
It’s a painful feeling, and it can make us feel like we’re not good enough or that we’re unlovable. But the truth is, love is complicated, and sometimes things just don’t work out.
It doesn’t mean we’re bad people or that we’re not worthy of love.
Love can cause us to stay in bad situations
Sometimes, love can keep us stuck in relationships that are wrong for us. We might be confused, hurt, or afraid to leave, even if it’s clear that our partner isn’t the right fit.
It’s important to recognize when a relationship isn’t working and to have the courage to walk away.
Love can be lost
Perhaps the most painful thing about love is that it can be lost. Whether through breakup, distance, or death, losing someone we love can leave a huge void in our lives.
It’s a painful reminder that nothing in life is permanent.
Love makes us weak
When we love someone, we become vulnerable. We open ourselves up to the possibility of getting hurt, and it can be a scary feeling.
But vulnerability is also what makes love so powerful. It allows us to connect deeply with others and to experience the joys of intimacy and companionship.
Love is fickle
Finally, love can be fleeting. It comes and goes, and its impact on our lives can be ephemeral.
But even though love may not always last, it’s still worth pursuing. It’s one of the most powerful feelings we can experience as humans, and even the briefest moments of love can leave a lasting impact.
Why love sucks more for some people
Loving “too much”
For some people, love can feel all-consuming.
They might experience deep love for their partner, but this love can also lead to hurt and pain if it’s not reciprocated. It’s important to find a balance between loving deeply and protecting ourselves from getting hurt.
Low self-esteem
People with low self-esteem may have a hard time believing that they deserve love and may struggle to find healthy relationships. It’s important to work on building our self-love and confidence so that we can attract partners who treat us with respect and kindness.
Overly sensitive
People who are easily offended or hurt may struggle with love because they may perceive slights or criticisms where there are none. It’s important to develop a thick skin and to communicate openly with our partners so that we can avoid misunderstandings.
Attachment style
Our attachment style – whether we’re anxious, avoidant, or secure – can have a big impact on how we experience love. Anxious people may cling to their partners and fear abandonment, while avoidant people may push their partners away or fear getting too close.
It’s important to understand our attachment style and to work on developing a healthy, secure attachment style.
Too giving
People who are overly giving may struggle with love because they may put their partner’s needs ahead of their own, leading to imbalance and resentment. It’s important to find a healthy balance between giving and receiving in a relationship.
Too empathetic
People who are highly empathetic may be prone to taking on their partner’s emotions and may struggle to set boundaries. It’s important to take care of our emotional needs and to communicate openly with our partners about our feelings.
Lack of boundaries
People who have weak personal boundaries may be prone to accepting abuse or mistreatment from their partners. It’s important to establish clear boundaries and to communicate them openly and honestly.
Their loved one doesn’t love them to the same extent
Finally, some people may struggle with love because their partner doesn’t love them to the same extent. This can lead to feelings of jealousy, insecurity, and neediness.
It’s important to communicate openly with our partners about our feelings and to accept that we can’t force someone to love us. So there you have it.
Love can be tough, but it’s an inevitable part of the human experience. By understanding why love can be so difficult and how to deal with it, we can learn to navigate relationships with greater ease and resilience.
Whether we’re in a relationship or not, let’s focus on cultivating self-love, healthy boundaries, and open communication so that we can experience love in all its complexities.
Why we still pursue love despite it sucking
Knowing someone deeply
One of the biggest draws of love is that it allows us to get to know someone on a deep, intimate level. When we love someone, we take the time to understand their hopes, dreams, fears, and quirks.
We develop a special bond with that person that goes beyond surface-level attraction. This connection can be incredibly fulfilling and satisfying, and it’s often what keeps us coming back to love.
Feeling safe with love
Another reason why we pursue love is that it provides us with a sense of safety and security. When we’re in a loving relationship, we know that we have someone who will support us no matter what.
We have a partner who will protect us, look out for our best interests, and be there for us when we’re feeling down. This kind of support is invaluable, especially during tough times.
Love makes us better people
Perhaps one of the most beautiful things about love is that it has the power to make us better people. When we give love to others, we experience a sense of happiness and fulfillment that can’t be found elsewhere.
We become kinder, more patient, more compassionate, and more understanding. We learn to put others first, to be more giving, and to appreciate the little things in life.
Love has a way of bringing out the best in us, and that’s why we keep pursuing it.
Love always appears again
Even when we think we’ve had enough of love, it has a way of reappearing when we least expect it. We may have sworn off relationships or decided to focus on ourselves for a while, but then someone comes along and turns our world upside down.
Falling in love again can be a thrilling, exhilarating experience, and it reminds us why love is worth pursuing in the first place.
Love allows us to be our true selves
When we’re in love with someone, we can be our true selves around them. There’s no need for pretense or putting on a show – we can just be who we are, flaws and all.
Our partner accepts us for who we are, warts and all, and that creates a deep sense of acceptance and belonging. When we find someone who loves us for who we are, we feel seen, validated, and appreciated in a way that nothing else can provide.
Unconditional love
Finally, there’s something incredibly special about unconditional love. When we love someone unconditionally, we accept them for who they are, without trying to change them.
We celebrate their strengths and accept their weaknesses, and we love them no matter what. This kind of love is powerful and transformative, and when we experience it, it’s hard to imagine a life without it.
In conclusion, despite the fact that love can be painful, frustrating, and disappointing at times, there are many reasons why we keep pursuing it. From the deep connections and special bonds we develop with others, to the sense of safety, support, and protection it provides, love offers us so much more than just the negative aspects.
And when we give love to others, we become better people ourselves. So let’s embrace the ups and downs of love, knowing that there’s always something beautiful to be found on the other side.
In conclusion, love is a complex and multifaceted experience that can bring both joy and pain. It can make us feel vulnerable and exposed, but it can also provide us with deep connections and a sense of fulfillment.
Understanding the reasons why love can be challenging, as well as why we keep pursuing it, can help us navigate this complicated landscape with greater ease and resilience. By focusing on cultivating healthy relationships, building strong boundaries, and practicing self-love and acceptance, we can find meaning and beauty in even the toughest aspects of love.
At its core, love is a gift that we give and receive, even when it sucks.
