The Mating Grounds

Why Going Dutch on a Date Should Be the New Normal: Ditching Outdated Dating Rules

Going Dutch on a Date: Why Old Dating Rules Need to Go

Weve all heard the old adage that the man always pays on the first date. But lets be real, the times have changed.

Society has come a long way from traditional dating rules, and its time to leave them behind. In this article, well explore why its okay to go Dutch on a date and why old dating rules need to be thrown out the window.

What does it mean to go Dutch on a date? When we say going Dutch, we mean that both people on the date pay for their own food and drinks.

Its a simple concept that allows both people to feel equal and in control of the situation. No one feels obligated to pay, and no one feels indebted to the other person.

Its a fair and balanced way of approaching dating, and its becoming increasingly popular. Assumptions and Confusion: Who pays?

One of the biggest reasons why old dating rules need to be left in the past is because they create unnecessary confusion and pressure. By expecting the man to pay for everything, we are perpetuating a gender bias that doesnt have a place in modern dating.

The assumption that the man is supposed to pay can also create uncomfortable moments when the bill arrives. Will he pay for everything?

Will he split it? Will she offer to pay?

These questions can be anxiety-inducing and take away from the enjoyment of the date.

Gender Equality and Common Dating Rules

We need to recognize that men and women are equals, and that should extend to dating. Women are independent and capable, and they shouldnt feel like they need a man to rescue them or pay for them.

Financial independence is an important aspect of any relationship, and it should be embraced from the very beginning. By going Dutch, were showing that both people are equal partners and that the date is a shared experience.

Why Old Dating Rules Need To Go

Its time to re-evaluate the way we approach dating. Old rules like the man always pays and women should be wooed are outdated and sexist.

They put unnecessary pressure on both participants and can create confusion and awkward moments. Going Dutch is a simple and fair way of approaching dating that allows both people to feel equal and in control.

No one should feel obligated to pay, and no one should feel entitled to financial support from their date.

Unnecessary Pressure on First Dates

First dates are already stressful enough without the added pressure of societal expectations. By placing too much emphasis on who pays or who should make the first move, were taking away from what should be a fun and relaxed experience.

Going Dutch removes this pressure and allows both people to focus on getting to know each other without any implicit assumptions or expectations.

Sexist Connotations and the Importance of Equality

Lets talk about the idea of chivalry for a moment. Chivalry is often cited as a reason why men should pay for everything on a date.

However, the roots of chivalry lie in medieval times when knights would display gallantry and honor towards women. In modern times, chivalry has taken on a sexist connotation that implies that women are weaker or less capable than men.

We need to move beyond these outdated notions and embrace equality in all areas of our lives, including dating.


Its time to leave behind old dating rules and embrace equality in our dating lives. Going Dutch is a simple and fair way of approaching dating that allows for financial independence and mutual respect.

We should aim to create an environment where both people feel comfortable and in control, and where no one is left feeling indebted or obligated. By embracing equality in our dating lives, were setting a standard for all aspects of our relationships.

So lets ditch the old rules and embrace a new, fairer way of dating. Assumptions About Going Dutch: Challenging Traditional Dating Rules

As societal norms continue to evolve, traditional dating rules are no longer viewed as the norm.

One such dating rule, where the man is expected to pay for everything on a date, is slowly being replaced with the more equitable concept of going Dutch. However, there are still some lingering assumptions and beliefs surrounding going Dutch that need to be challenged.

In this article, we will explore these assumptions and look at why they no longer hold true in modern dating.

The Person Who Asks Should Pay

The belief that the person who initiates the date should pay for everything is deeply ingrained in traditional dating rules. However, this belief is no longer gender-specific.

Gender-neutral dating means that regardless of whether the person asking is male, female, or non-binary, whoever initiated the date should offer to pay for their share. However, that should not mean that the other party is not obliged to pay.

The rule should be Whoever Plans, Pays.

Paying for the First Few Dates

Another assumption surrounding going Dutch is who should pay for the first few dates. Some people argue that while going Dutch makes sense in a long-term relationship, its important for a man to pay for the first few dates to show interest and potential in a relationship.

However, this assumption defies logic and can be potentially problematic. The person who asks should initially offer to pay for his/her share.

Subsequent dates can either be split evenly, or the parties involved can alternate paying for each other’s meals.

Judgment Based on Who Pays

One major concern surrounding going Dutch on a date is the stigma attached to it. Some people might perceive the person who suggests going Dutch as “cheap.” Furthermore, some believe that not paying for the other persons meal or activity implies that the other person has less appeal or sexiness in their eyes.

However, such judgment or preconception fundamentally goes against the fundamental principles of gender equality that is at the core of going Dutch. A person’s willingness to pay on a date should not be taken as a measure of their level of interest.

No Expectations When Going Dutch

Another assumption about going Dutch is that its only acceptable for casual dates. This idea links to the notion that if one person pays for everything, there is an expectation of reciprocation, such as intimacy or a second date.

However, going Dutch eliminates expectations on both sides and is a courteous way to enjoy a date without the feeling of indebtedness or obligation. The willingness to go Dutch shows that both individuals are invested in the date and are willing to make it a memorable experience, regardless of the outcome.

Gender Equality and Societal Norms

One of the key principles or benefits of going Dutch is that it promotes and embodies gender equality. Its especially important for couples when there is an income disparity.

Going Dutch gives both partners an equal level of expectations and prevents one partner from outspending the other. Its not fair to expect a person to pay for everything, especially when societal norms dictate that men should earn more than women or that men should pay more in a relationship.

Going Dutch encourages fairness and equitable treatment, regardless of gender or income disparities.

Advantages of Going Dutch

The advantages of going Dutch on a date are numerous, and they extend beyond financial considerations. When both people contribute equally to the date, there is less tension and awkwardness, and both parties can enjoy themselves and relax.

Additionally, splitting the bill ensures that there is no guilt or remorse if there is no interest in pursuing a second date. Taking turns to pay also eliminates any perceived power dynamic between the parties and allows both people to behave naturally and without expectations.

Finally, going Dutch allows both people to be themselves without the worry of being perceived as cheap or high-maintenance.


Going Dutch on a date should not be a source of stigma or awkwardness. Its a fair and equitable way of approaching dating that promotes gender equality and encourages mutual respect.

The idea that the person who initiates the initial contact should always pay for everything is outdated, and the sooner we let go of that notion, the more fun and memorable our dates will be. Embracing the concept of going Dutch makes dating more enjoyable and ensures that both individuals can invest themselves equally and without prejudice.

How to Suggest Going Dutch: Making it Comfortable and Nonchalant

Going Dutch on a date is becoming increasingly common as people recognize the importance of being equitable in every relationship, including romantic ones. However, for those who are not used to it, suggesting going Dutch on a date can feel awkward and uncomfortable.

In this article, we’ll explore the best ways to suggest going Dutch and make it feel like an open and comfortable conversation rather than a grouch fest debate.

Mention it Early On

One essential aspect of suggesting going Dutch is to make it upfront as early as possible. Ideally, you should mention going Dutch before going on a date with someone.

This decision to go Dutch can set the tone for the expectations and help you anticipate expenses for activities and dinner. By introducing the idea early, both parties can reflect on their current financial situations and decide whether going Dutch is a financially viable option for the both of you.

Alternating Activities to Split Costs

If going Dutch is a priority, you can also suggest alternating activities that split the costs evenly. For example, if you meet someone for coffee, they might pay for the first round, while you pick up the bill for the dessert.

This halvsies approach might work well for those who are dating regularly, are not fixated on expensive or fancy dates, and don’t want the financial burden of always paying for their date’s activities. Making it Clear it’s Preferred

When making plans with your date, you can also make it clear that you would prefer to split the cost.

It’s important to note here that suggesting going Dutch should not devolve into a fight, nor should it be taken as a sign of mistrust or lack of interest. Some people will welcome the idea of going Dutch as it puts them on equal footing; others will need some coaxing but ultimately appreciate the financial considerations and the notion of gender equality.

Casual Suggestion without Making it a Big Deal

One way to suggest going Dutch is by being nonchalant about it. For instance, a casual “Why don’t we split the bill, so I can enjoy myself without worrying about the check?

could attract the attention of the other party. This approach minimizes the pressure of the moment and emphasizes the fun aspect of the date itself.

Not fighting if the other person insists on Paying

Finally, what happens when one participant insists on paying for everything? If either party insists on paying for everything, it’s best to respect the other person’s decision.

It is essential to get acquainted with social cues around money or finances to avoid any emotional mix-ups. Fighting or behaving grouchy may show that you are insecure about the situation, or you dont trust that the other person can pay their share.

Be mindful of the social cues and always strive to create an enjoyable experience for both of you.


Suggesting going Dutch on a date is not as complicated as it seems. By taking a nonchalant approach and being upfront early on, you can create an open and comfortable conversation surrounding the financial aspects of dating.

Focusing on alternating activities, instead of always splitting the bill, and respecting the decision of the other person can make the experience more enjoyable for both parties involved. Dating should be fun and not hindered by any expectations related to payment or gender roles.

By embracing the culture of going Dutch, we can focus on building more enjoyable and equitable relationships. In conclusion, the concept of going Dutch on a date is a clear indication that society is moving towards being more equitable and fair.

Traditional dating rules are outdated, and the constraints of societal norms are no longer necessary. By adopting the culture of going Dutch, we can focus on building more enjoyable and equitable relationships that thrive on mutual respect and understanding.

The advantages of going Dutch are numerous, and with the right approach and mindset, we can eliminate awkwardness and embrace a new way of approaching dating. Its time to leave behind old dating rules and embrace a new, fairer way of dating, one that embodies respect, equality and kindness for all involved.

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