Why Won’t Your Husband Defend You? 12 Reasons and 10 Ways to Cope


How to Cope When Your Husband Defends Everyone but You

Is your husband the kind of person who always comes to the defense of others, but seems to leave you out in the cold? Do you feel neglected or hurt when he takes everyone else’s side but yours?

You might be wondering what you’re doing wrong and what you can do to make him defend you more. In this article, we’ll explore some possible reasons why your husband might behave this way and look at some strategies you can use to cope with this issue.

Reasons Why Your Husband Defends Everyone But You

Possible Reasons:

  1. He has lost interest in you.

    One possible reason why your husband might not defend you is that he has lost interest in you. Maybe he is not putting in the effort to make you feel loved and appreciated. He no longer sees you as the person he fell in love with, and he may not see you as someone worth protecting.

  2. You never favor him.

    Perhaps you don’t support your husband as much as you should. You might be egoistic in your opinions and always make decisions that don’t favor him. As a result, he might feel that there’s no point in defending you if you don’t value his opinions.

  3. He wants you to defend yourself.

    Perhaps your husband believes that you should be independent and stand up for yourself. He may feel that you need to learn how to defend yourself and that he should not always be the one to come to your rescue.

  4. You never appreciate his efforts.

    If you don’t acknowledge your husband’s efforts to make you happy, he may be less likely to defend you. Maybe you have developed bitterness towards him and you don’t appreciate anything he does for you. As a result, he feels unwanted and unappreciated.

  5. You are not compatible.

    Maybe the reason your husband does not defend you is that you both are not compatible. You might have different opinions and lifestyles, and you’re unhappy in your marriage. As a result, he might not feel connected to you or see you as someone he should defend.

  6. He disregards your marriage.

    If your husband is seeing multiple wives or not taking your marriage seriously, he may not see a point in defending you. He might also be cheating on you and not feel guilty about not standing up for you.

  7. He is jealous of your best friend.

    Sometimes a husband may be defending everyone but you silently because he is secretly Jealous of your best friend. He might see her as a threat to your relationship and hence feels the need to always be on her good side.

  8. He is cheating on you.

    Another reason why your husband might not defend you is that he is having an affair outside the marriage. He might be lying to you about his whereabouts and creating stories to cover up the truth. As a result, he might not want to get caught up in a situation where his lies will be exposed.

  9. He is insensitive towards you.

    Your husband may not defend you because he is insensitive to your feelings. He might not love you as much as before, and he has stopped caring about your welfare. As a result, he might not want to be associated with you in any way.

  10. He never loved you.

    Sometimes, those we love don’t love us back, and your husband may be suffering from unrequited love. He may not have genuine affection for you and may merely be pretending to be in love with you. As a result, he may be less likely to defend you.

  11. He tries to give a fake impression in front of others.

    Your husband might not be defending you because he’s afraid to reveal his true selves in front of his friends, family, or peers. He wants to appear cool and collected and wants to be accepted by his ill-mannered friends.

  12. You are a headstrong woman.

    Finally, your husband may not defend you because he feels that you are too headstrong. You might be too independent, and he might feel that you don’t need his help. As a result, he may not feel the need to stand up for you.

What to do When Your Husband Defends Everyone but You

Steps to Take:

  1. Stand up for yourself.

    If your husband is not defending you, you can stand up for yourself. You don’t need someone to constantly come to your defense. Learn to defend yourself when needed and take charge of situations that require a defense.

  2. Confront him.

    If you feel neglected or hurt, you should talk to your partner and tell them how you feel. Confronting him is the best way to find out his true motives and if he has any malice towards you. Clearing the air could help smoothen your relationship.

  3. Stop being a puppet.

    Do not make decisions solely to please your husband at the expense of your happiness. Stop being a puppet and think of your well-being first. Know what’s at stake and make the right decisions that will lead to a happier life.

  4. Don’t challenge his opinions.

    Respect your husband’s opinions, even when you differ from them. Do not challenge them every time he speaks up as it could lead to conflict. Be open to other people’s opinions and respect them as it could help in smoother relationships.

  5. Plan a romantic surprise.

    Surprise your husband with a romantic gesture such as a candlelit dinner or a weekend gateway. Do things to remind him that you love and appreciate him. This could help rekindle the love and affection that might have faded.

  6. Give him more time.

    You may need to give your husband more time, especially if he’s introverted or reclusive. Some people require time alone to work things out. Respect his space and give him time to work it out, but also ensure to communicate how you feel.

  7. Recreate memories.

    Recreate some of the happy memories you both shared when you were first falling in love. Go on trips, dates, and projects that remind your husband of how you were when things were better.

  8. Take him for relationship counseling.

    Seeing a relationship counselor with your husband could help put your relationship back on track. Learn to communicate openly and honestly in these sessions, and work with your partner to better understand each other.

  9. Do things he likes.

    Consider doing things your husband likes more often. This could help him see that you’re looking out for his happiness too. You might also learn to enjoy some of the things he likes.

  10. Stalk him to find out if he is hiding something.

    It is essential to trust your husband, but if something feels off, you might want to investigate. Stalking your husband could help expose any potential infidelity or other affairs. This option should only be used as a last resort, when trust has been completely lost and all other options have been exhausted.


In summary, if your husband defends everyone but you, there could be several reasons why he behaves this way. Some of these reasons include lost interest, incompatibility, jealousy, and infidelity.

You can take steps to cope with this issue by standing up for yourself, confronting your husband, working on your communication skills, and engaging in romantic gestures. Ultimately, it’s up to you and your husband to work together to find a solution that works best for both of you.

Good luck!

In conclusion, this article explored the possible reasons why your husband defends everyone but you and provided strategies to help you cope with the situation. We’ve highlighted the importance of clear communication, creating time for romantic gestures, and learning to stand up for yourself.

By confronting your husband about his behavior, recreating happy memories, showing appreciation, and seeing a relationship counselor, you can work towards a more fulfilling partnership. Remember, it’s essential to value yourself and acknowledge your own worth in any relationship.

So don’t be afraid to take charge, address your concerns, and work towards building a more loving and supportive relationship.

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