Recognizing the Things Cheaters Say When Confronted
Cheating in a relationship is one of the most hurtful things that can happen to a partner. It leaves behind a trail of broken trust, heartache, and shattered dreams.
But when confronted, cheaters often resort to saying things that sound logical and plausible, but in reality, are just a cover-up for their infidelity. As someone who has been in this situation, I want to share some of the things cheaters say and how to deal with them.
Common Cheater Excuses
When you confront your partner about their infidelity, they may say things like, “I didn’t mean to hurt you,” “It was a moment of weakness,” or “It’s all in the past.” These excuses are meant to shift the blame and make you feel guilty for questioning their faithfulness. They’re lies, plain and simple.
Cheaters may also say things like, “I’ll change, I promise,” or “I love you, but not in love with you” to manipulate you into staying in the relationship. If you’re hearing these things, it’s time to take a step back and ask yourself if this is a person you can trust and rely on.
In most cases, the answer is no.
Breaking It Off
The first step to dealing with a cheating partner is to be honest with yourself about your feelings. Are you ready to forgive and move on, or is it time to cut the cord?
If you decide to break it off, be prepared for some tough conversations. Your partner is likely to make excuses and try to win you back, but you need to stay strong and stand your ground.
Being honest with yourself is essential in this process. Take some time to reflect on what you want in a partner and what you’re willing to tolerate.
Make a list of the things you’re looking for in a relationship, and don’t compromise on your values just because you’re afraid of being alone.
Debunking Common Cheater Excuses
Excuse #1: “It was purely sexual”
Many cheaters try to downplay their infidelity by saying that it was just about sex and didn’t mean anything. While it’s true that some affairs are just about physical attraction, it doesn’t excuse the betrayal of trust that comes with cheating.
Excuse #2: “I didn’t mean to hurt you”
This excuse is a way for cheaters to shift the focus away from their actions and onto your feelings. The truth is, they knew what they were doing and chose to cheat despite the potential consequences.
Excuse #3: “I’ll change, I promise”
It’s tempting to believe that your partner will change their ways, but promises are meaningless without action. If your partner is not willing to address the root of the problem and make significant changes, then their promises are just empty words.
Excuse #4: “You’re never around anymore”
Blaming the victim is a classic cheater’s tactic. Even if you have been busy or preoccupied with other things, it’s not an excuse for your partner to cheat on you.
Communication is always the key, and if they weren’t feeling fulfilled, they should have talked to you instead of cheating.
Excuse #5: “I was abused”
While it’s never acceptable to excuse cheating, it’s important to acknowledge that some cheaters may have experienced abuse or trauma that led to their behavior.
But as adults, we are responsible for our own actions, and using past traumas as an excuse doesn’t absolve us of personal responsibility.
Excuse #6: “It was a moment of weakness”
This excuse is a way for cheaters to minimize their actions and shift the blame away from themselves.
In reality, cheating is a repeated pattern of behavior that requires a lack of self-control and personal accountability.
Excuse #7: “I’ll never do it again”
Cheating is a choice, and if someone is not willing to invest in the relationship and address the root of the problem, the chances are high that they’ll cheat again.
Excuse #8: “They seduced me!”
The idea that someone can be ‘seduced’ into cheating is ridiculous. We’re all responsible for our actions, and if someone wants to cheat on their partner, it’s a choice they make.
Excuse #9: “I love you, but not in love with you.”
This excuse is often used as a way to avoid hurting someone’s feelings. But, in reality, it’s just lying about love and cowardice.
Excuse #10: “It’s all in the past”
Cheaters may try to minimize their behavior by saying that it’s all in the past and that they’ve moved on. But, this is a false sense of change that is disrespectful to the victim of their cheating.
Excuse #11: “I’m sorry”
Saying sorry is easy, but it’s meaningless without action. If your partner is truly sorry, they’ll take responsibility for their behavior and make changes to ensure it never happens again.
Excuse #12: “Monogamy isn’t good for me, we should have an open relationship”
This excuse is a way for cheaters to try and justify their behavior by saying that monogamy isn’t for them. But if one partner wants to be monogamous and the other doesn’t, it’s best to go separate ways.
Excuse #13: “They understand me in ways you don’t”
This excuse is particularly hurtful because it implies that the victim is somehow lacking. But emotional connections don’t excuse cheating, and if your partner is using that as an excuse, it’s time to leave.
Final Thoughts
Being cheated on is never easy, but recognizing the things cheaters say and being honest with yourself is the first step to healing. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who respects and loves you, and don’t settle for anything less.
In conclusion, dealing with a cheating partner can be a heartbreaking experience, but recognizing the common excuses that cheaters use and being honest with yourself is essential to heal and move on. Don’t compromise your values or wellbeing just because you’re afraid of being alone.
Remember that you deserve to be with someone who respects and loves you, and don’t settle for anything less. By debunking the common cheater excuses and staying true to yourself, you’ll be able to find happiness and build a healthy and trustworthy relationship for the long term.
