Having Higher Standards in Relationships
Do you ever feel like you’re settling when it comes to relationships? Maybe you’re with someone who doesn’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated, but you stick around because you don’t think you can do any better.
Well, I’m here to tell you that you can do better. You deserve better.
And it’s time to start having higher standards in your relationships.
Importance of Higher Standards
Now that you know what a healthy relationship looks like, why is it important to have higher standards? First of all, it’s important to teach people how to treat you.
If you accept bad behavior from your partner, they’re going to think it’s okay. By having higher standards, you’re setting a baseline for how you expect to be treated.
Secondly, choosing a person who will treat you right is crucial for a happy and healthy relationship. When you have higher standards, you’re more likely to attract someone who is compatible with you and who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
Common Mistakes in Relationships
Unfortunately, many of us make common mistakes in our relationships. Here are two of the most common mistakes:
Accepting Bad Behavior
Have you ever stayed with someone who treated you badly? Maybe they were emotionally abusive, or maybe they cheated on you.
Whatever it was, it’s important to recognize that you don’t have to accept bad behavior from your partner. It’s okay to walk away from a toxic relationship.
You deserve to be treated with kindness and respect.
Lack of Relationship Skills Education
No one teaches us how to have good relationships. We’re expected to just figure it out on our own.
But the truth is, there are skills and strategies that can help us build healthy relationships. Take the time to learn about these skills, whether it’s through therapy, self-help books, or relationship coaching.
Characteristics of a Healthy Relationship
Everyone wants to be in a healthy relationship. But what does that really mean?
Below are some characteristics that define a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
Kindness and Respect
In every healthy relationship, kindness and respect must be at the core. Healthy couples are compassionate and considerate with each other.
They understand the importance of treating their partners in a way that can inspire and uplift them, instead of tear them down. They also communicate their needs and thoughts with kindness and empathy.
Following Through on Promises
Keeping promises is vital in building and maintaining trust. Healthy relationships are built on mutual trust and commitment, and each partner must keep their word.
A responsible and trustworthy partner sets the groundwork for a healthy and stable relationship.
Loving and Affectionate
Humans crave love and affection. In healthy relationships, partners show love and affection in different ways – physical touch, verbal affirmations, thoughtful gestures.
This appreciation and gratefulness helps to create emotional intimacy and strengthen the bond between partners.
Empathic and Respectful to Everyone
A partner that treats others with empathy and respect is a good sign of a healthy relationship. Individuals who are kind to everyone, not only their partners, display high emotional intelligence and exhibit socially acceptable behaviors.
Strong Communication Skills
Communication is vital to a healthy relationship. You should always feel comfortable with expressing your needs and thoughts to your partner.
If communication is done effectively, it helps couples to solve problems and deepen their relationships. Without it, partners may feel unimportant and neglected.
Conflict Resolution Skills
Another essential characteristic of a healthy relationship is conflict resolution skills. Life happens, misunderstandings occur.
These conflicts can tear relationships apart or make them grow stronger, depending on how the couple handles it. Healthy couples try to understand each other’s perspective, find common ground, and work towards a solution that benefits everyone involved.
Best Friends
The most fulfilling relationships are built on the foundations of a strong friendship. When you and your partner enjoy each other’s company, laughter, fun, and shared interests easily come naturally to the relationship.
You want someone who enjoys the same things as you do and who you can create memories with. As best friends, couples can communicate more comfortably and feel safe to be themselves around their partner.
Feeling Safe
Safety in any relationship is non-negotiable. A healthy relationship happens when you feel safe, heard, and respected.
Feeling safe means that you’re not afraid to express yourself or be yourself, you’re not threatened, and you’re sure that your partner has your back.
Mutual Appreciation
We all want to feel appreciated and valued. In a healthy relationship, both parties mutually celebrate and cherish each other’s successes, uplift each other in times of difficulties.
Appreciating each other maintains the connection and intimacy in a relationship and brings couples closer together.
Shared Values and Perspectives
In a healthy relationship, couples share similar values and outlooks on life. They stand by the same fundamental principles and help each other grow towards their shared goals.
Being in sync also positively impacts communication and decision-making skills in a relationship.
Unimaginable Life Without Each Other
Finally, the ultimate sign of a healthy and fulfilling relationship is when partners cannot think of life without each other. When they cannot fathom being away from each other or imagine having a future without their partners, it’s real love!
Negative Behaviors to Avoid in Relationships
Sometimes, it’s just as helpful to know what not to do as what to do. Below are some of the negative behaviors that unhealthy relationships exhibit.
Rudeness and Disrespect
Rudeness and disrespect never have a place in a healthy relationship. In any argument, it’s important to remember to deal with the issue, not the person.
Healthy partners know how to disagree respectfully and carry themselves with diplomacy.
Lack of Trustworthiness
Trust is the bedrock of any healthy relationship, and without it, couples may struggle. A partner who doesn’t keep their promises or behaves inconsistently will erode the trust, while lying and deceit sound the death knell to a relationship.
Hot Temper and Uncontrollable Anger
Everyone gets angry sometimes, but a hot temper or uncontrolled anger can destroy a relationship. Outbursts of anger can be frightening to the partner, and if not well managed, it can damage the relationship.
Defensive and Avoidant Communication
A healthy communication pattern requires a balance of listening and expressing oneself. In unhealthy relationships, defensive communication patterns may occur, which makes it harder to communicate in a healthy manner.
Resultantly, resentment may build up over time, which negatively impacts the whole relationship.
Taking Each Other for Granted
Couples busy with their schedules can forget to appreciate the little things, which over time, can lead to regretful consequences. Healthy relationships are built around mutual effort and appreciation that couples put into it.
It’s never too late to start to appreciate your partner for who they are.
Personal Differences and Conflicting Values
As mentioned, it’s important to share the same values and outlooks to have a healthy relationship. Personal differences and conflicting values, on the other hand, can lead to resentment and difficulties.
The goal is not to have the same opinion, but more so the willingness to respectfully disagree and reach a compromise. In conclusion, healthy relationships are built on the foundations of mutual trust, communication, kindness, respect, and shared values.
All couples go through difficulties, but healthy couples know how to approach them respectfully. By avoiding negative behaviors like taking each other for granted, lack of trustworthiness, and uncontrollable anger, and focusing more on the positive characteristics like empathy and mutual appreciation, couples can create fulfilling and healthy relationships that can last for a lifetime.
Final Thoughts
To have a healthy and fulfilling relationship, it’s important to have high standards and the willingness to communicate them. Equally important is self-reflection, emotional intelligence, and self-assessment.
Here’s why:
Importance of Higher Standards in Relationships
Setting high standards in relationships is important because it challenges us to demand more from our partners. Everyone deserves to be respected, cherished, and loved, and settling for less than these results in disappointment and regret.
Raising our expectations empowers us to have the kind of relationship we truly desire and deserve. Accepting bad behavior should never be an option.
While it may be tempting to make excuses for our partner’s behavior, this mindset feeds into a vicious cycle of disrespect and emotional damage. Relationships are supposed to offer mutual support, trust, and care to both partners.
Therefore, we must understand our worth and stand firm on our standards.
Need for Self-Reflection and Self-Assessment
While understanding what characteristics to look for in a partner is important, it’s also essential to find the same positive qualities in ourselves. Self-reflection means taking some time to understand our values, strengths, and weaknesses.
These offer a key insight into our personalities and how they relate to a healthy relationship. Self-reflection allows us to identify areas we need to work on and helps us strengthen aspects of ourselves that we take pride in.
Self-assessment is important as it involves paying attention to how we treat our partners. It involves asking ourselves honest questions, such as, “Am I treating my partner kindly? “, “Am I doing everything I can to be supportive of my partner? “, “Do I take my partner for granted or overlook the things they do for me? “, or “Am I being respectful of their opinions and boundaries?” These questions help us identify areas where we need to improve, allowing us to work on them and grow.
Understanding Personal Values
Lastly, to have a healthy and successful relationship, it’s important to understand our personal values. Personal values are an expression of what’s most important to us, and they guide our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in all areas of our lives.
When we ignore our values, we allow others to impose their values on us, leading to resentment and unhappiness. It’s important to reflect on what we want in life, what we consider non-negotiable, and what brings us the most fulfillment.
These qualities often point to our values. Understanding personal values helps us identify the kind of person we want in our lives and the type of life we wish to create for ourselves.
It also helps us to identify the things we will and will not tolerate in a relationship. In conclusion, when looking to establish a healthy and fulfilling relationship, it’s vital to have high standards and a willingness to communicate them.
It’s equally important to engage in honest self-reflection and self-assessment, and to understand our core values. When we focus on these aspects, we are more likely to attract people who share similar characteristics and are more likely to create a fulfilling bond.
Remember, the relationship we have with ourselves sets the tone for all of our other relationships. Love and respect yourself, and the right people will love and respect you too.
In conclusion, having high standards in relationships, understanding the characteristics of healthy relationships, avoiding negative behaviors, and engaging in self-reflection are all vital components to creating and maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship. By setting boundaries, asserting our worth and being introspective about our actions, we can create strong connections that provide mutual love, respect, and support.
Remember, a positive partnership begins with a positive you. So, have an open heart and commitment to self-improvement, and the rewards of a healthy and fulfilling relationship will follow.
