The Importance of Wholeness: Why Society’s Expectations of Partnership are Flawed
Let’s face it – we’ve all grown up watching rom-coms and listening to love songs, dreaming of our ‘knight on a white horse’ coming to sweep us off our feet. Historical novels filled with tales of love and chivalry only added fuel to our fantasies.
Society has created a whole culture around the notion of finding and being with a significant other. But have you ever stopped to think about the downside to such a mindset?
Learning to Be Alone
Solitude may sound frightening, but it is necessary. Being able to spend time in your own company is essential to discovering who you really are.
Think about it – if you’re always surrounded by people, you rarely have time to think deeply and may forget what you enjoy or what your passions are. That’s where being by yourself comes in handy.
You can read the books you like, take long bubble baths, or even have a candlelit dinner all by yourself. It’s like finding the Holy Grail of self-company.
Finding Value in Oneself
In order to truly be whole, we must learn to appreciate ourselves – flaws and all. You have to accept yourself exactly as you are in order to find happiness.
Self-love and self-acceptance should be at the forefront of our minds. Insecurity often leads to running in circles, seeking validation from others, and trying to fit into their expectations.
The more you embrace who you really are and love yourself regardless, the less time you’ll spend trying to please others. Love Can’t Complete You
Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you need someone else to complete you.
This idea is a fallacy. If you think that you only have worth when you’re with someone else, you can fall prey to abuse and toxic relationships.
Placing your salvation in someone else is not healthy.
The Role of Love
It isn’t our partners’ job to make us feel better about ourselves or to ‘complete’ us. Romantic partners should be supportive, love us when we can’t love ourselves, and provide a shoulder to lean on, but that does not mean we are to rely on them for our sense of self-worth.
Instead, romantic partners are meant to be a partner: someone to enjoy life with, to problem-solve and grow with throughout life’s journey. Love can cover sins and create a positive environment to grow, but it cannot repair or create self-worth.
The Necessity of Loving Yourself
Loving yourself is paramount to forming healthy relationships. When you love yourself, you manage your time, working towards goals without neglecting self-care.
You’ll embrace challenges and use them to improve rather than beat yourself up. After all, you are the captain of your time.
When you love yourself, you become more resilient. The more you value yourself, the more you accept yourself and become comfortable with who you are, paving the way for positive relationships.
In conclusion, society’s expectations of partnership can lead to unrealistic expectations, abusive relationships, and a lack of self-value. Learning to be alone generates self-awareness and helps you develop a sense of self-worth.
It’s essential to remember that no one can complete you or provide self-worth – that’s up to you as the captain of your own time. Always strive for self-acceptance, self-love, and self-esteem, and romantic relationships will naturally fall into place.
Remember, you are already whole – you just need to believe it.
The Journey to Finding Love
When it comes to relationships, most of us have been fed the idea that finding a significant other is the key to completeness. We have been sold the dream of meeting someone who will sweep us off our feet, but what if the journey to finding love involves finding joy and completeness within ourselves first?
Finding Joy and Completeness Within Yourself
The journey to finding love starts with you. Self-care is fundamental to discovering who we are and what we need.
It’s about creating healthy habits and routines that bring joy and completeness to our world, all by ourselves. Taking time to care for yourself through activities like exercising, listening to music, or reading your favorite book creates an environment of wholeness and completeness.
Believe it or not, life can be just as fulfilling solo, and if you learn the art of self-love, you will find the true inner joy that comes from within.
Love Comes Looking For You
The pumpkin pie analogy is one of my favorite examples of finding love within yourself. Imagine that you are baking a pumpkin pie.
You prepare the ingredients, mix them all together, and allow it to bake. The moment the pie is done and ready, you put some whipped cream on top.
You didn’t need the whipped cream to make the pie complete; the pie already had everything it needed. The whipped cream is just a complement to the already substantial pie.
The same is true for love. You don’t need someone else to make you whole; you’re already complete within yourself.
Love will find you when you least expect it.
Completeness Attracts
When you find completeness within yourself, it will radiate from you to others, and it is this completeness that attracts others. It’s like a magnet that draws people to you.
Those who are looking for a person to complete them can sense that you are already whole and balanced. You no longer have to go out and search for love; it will come naturally.
Joint Exploration of Wholeness
Married life can be a vibrant world of discovery if both partners embark on a joint exploration of wholeness. A beautiful and stable union can come from two individuals, each complete within themselves, coming together in mutual respect and love.
It is unobtrusive, patient, committed, and built around the idea of serving the common good. In a relationship, the work of both partners is not to ‘complete’ each other, but to flesh out their individual wholeness and complement one another.
As two individuals come together, they become a perfect fit, never compromising their wholeness, but enhancing each other’s completeness. This creates a beautiful dynamic that allows both individuals to thrive while creating a deep, respectful, and healthy relationship.
In conclusion, the journey to finding love is never straightforward. We need to deconstruct our thinking around the need for someone else to complete us.
We should embrace the joy of being complete within ourselves and work towards self-love, which emanates outwardly, attracting like-minded people. In joint partnerships, we need to realize it’s a complementing and not a completing relationship.
When we come to this truth, we embark on the threshold of a beautiful relationship built upon mutual respect, support, commitment, and discovery of the wholeness that is already within us. In conclusion, this article explored the importance of self-worth and self-love when it comes to finding true and lasting love.
Society’s portrayal of relationships as being the key to completeness is flawed and can lead to toxic and abusive partnerships. It’s essential to find joy and completeness within yourself, which naturally attracts love into your life.
Relationships should not be about completing each other, but enhancing each other’s completeness. By practicing self-care, striving towards wholeness, and waiting for natural attraction, we can create a healthy and beautiful dynamic in our partnerships.
Ultimately, it’s important to remember that love truly manifests when we accept ourselves, believe in ourselves, and see ourselves as worthy of all the good things that life and love have to offer.