The Mating Grounds

Living with a Pathological Liar: Coping Strategies and Hope for Healing

Are you in a relationship with someone who lies compulsively? Do you find it hard to trust them and wonder if love can ever exist between you?

If so, you may be dealing with a pathological liar, and it’s important to understand the nature of their behavior so that you can address it together. What is pathological lying?

Pathological lying is a condition where the affected person lies continuously and compulsively, even when there’s no apparent reason to do so. They may exaggerate facts, create false stories, and evade questions that would expose their lies.

In some cases, they may even believe their lies to be true, which makes it hard to confront or reason with them.

The effects of pathological lying on relationships

If you’re in a long-term relationship with a pathological liar, their behavior can create a lot of problems. Communication and trust are essential components of any relationship, and lying undermines both of these.

You may find that you’re always on edge, questioning their words and actions. This can lead to paranoia, low self-esteem, and a feeling of betrayal, which further entrenches the problem.

Can a pathological liar love someone? The simple answer is yes, they can.

However, their behavior can create problems in the relationship that need to be addressed. A pathological liar may love you, but they may also struggle with vulnerability and honesty, which are essential components of love.

They may also be unaware of the impact of their behavior on you, which can make it harder to find a solution. 10 signs you’re in a relationship with a pathological liar

If you’re unsure whether you’re in a relationship with a pathological liar, here are ten signs to watch out for:


Trust problems: You find it hard to believe anything they say, and you’re always questioning their words and actions. 2.

Low self-esteem: Their behavior can make you feel unworthy and unlovable, leading to a lack of self-confidence. 3.

Irresponsibility: A pathological liar may struggle with accountability, making it hard for them to hold themselves or others responsible for their actions. 4.

Competitiveness: They may feel the need to one-up others, inventing stories to make themselves look better. 5.

Outbursts of anger: When confronted with their lying, a pathological liar may react with anger and defensiveness. 6.

Need for constant attention: They may lie to gain attention and validation, even if it means hurting others. 7.

Unnecessary lies: Pathological liars will lie about the most trivial things, which is a red flag in any relationship. 8.

Secrets: They may keep secrets from you, further undermining trust in the relationship. 9.

Feeling too harsh: You may struggle with confronting them on their behavior, feeling like you’re being too harsh or critical. 10.

Commitment: Finally, a pathological liar may struggle with being committed to a long-term relationship, as their behavior means they find it hard to build and maintain trust.


Dealing with a pathological liar can be challenging, but it’s important to remember that the behavior is a symptom of an underlying problem rather than a choice. Communication and honesty are key components of any relationship, and you may need to work together to overcome the issue.

Seek the help of a professional counselor to help you navigate through the issue, and remember that love can exist between a pathological liar and their partner if they’re both willing to work on it. Living with a pathological liar can take a toll on your mental health.

It can lead to feelings of frustration, anger, and confusion, which can affect your stability. If you find yourself struggling to cope with your partner’s behavior, here are some tips that may help.

Talk to yourself

It’s essential to focus on your mental health and well-being if you’re in a relationship with a pathological liar. Talking to yourself is one way to stay grounded.

You can talk to yourself in your head or even out loud. Saying things like “I am not the problem” or “I will not take responsibility for their actions” can help you keep your perspective and maintain stability.

Talk to your partner

It’s crucial to talk to your partner about their behavior if you’re in a relationship with them. However, it’s also important to do so with planning and caution.

Pathological liars are skilled manipulators, so confronting them without evidence or a plan can lead to gaslighting. Gather evidence of their lies and approach them calmly.

Explain how their actions are affecting you and the relationship and give them a chance to explain themselves.

Identify the underlying cause

Pathological lying is often associated with mental health disorders like narcissistic personality disorder, antisocial personality disorder, and borderline personality disorder. Narcissistic individuals may lie to inflate their self-importance, while those with antisocial personality disorder may lie to gain power and control.

Borderline personality disorder may cause individuals to engage in impulsive and erratic behavior, including lying. Recognizing the underlying cause of their behavior can help you come up with ways to cope with it and better understand their actions.

Encourage professional help

Therapy is an excellent option for individuals with these types of mental health disorders. Pathological lying is just a symptom of a much larger issue and cannot simply be resolved through an intervention.

Encouraging your partner to seek professional help can help build trust between the two of you and lead to a more positive relationship in the long run.

Know when enough is enough

In some cases, despite your best efforts, it may be impossible to cope with a pathological liar. Recognizing when enough is enough is essential for your mental health.

Walking away from a toxic relationship can often be the best decision for both parties involved. Pathological lying vs.

compulsive lying

Pathological lying and compulsive lying are often used interchangeably, but they are not the same. Compulsive lying is characterized by a strong desire to control a situation or person, while pathological liars often have delusions of grandeur, inferiority, and a lack of self-awareness.

Compulsive liars generally have goals and motivations for their lies, while pathological liars merely fabricate stories without any real aim. Pathological liars may lie to gain attention or to avoid consequences, while compulsive liars may lie for personal gain or to control those around them.

Trust is a crucial factor in both types of lies. Compulsive liars may be able to earn your trust back if they seek help and work on their behavior, while pathological liars often repeatedly break trust and never seem to stop.

In conclusion, living with a pathological liar can be a challenge, but there are ways to cope with it. Focus on your mental health, communicate with your partner, identify the underlying causes, encourage professional help, and know when enough is enough.

Additionally, while compulsive lying and pathological lying share some characteristics, there are differences between the two. By understanding these differences, you can better equip yourself to deal with the effects of both types of lying.

Pathological lying can be a challenging behavior to understand, and finding the root cause is not always clear. Here are some potential reasons why someone may become a pathological liar.

Lack of identified causes

There is no specific known cause of pathological lying. Medical reports do not identify a specific gene or chemical imbalance that causes someone to have this condition.

Instead, pathological lying is often associated with other underlying mental illnesses, which may exacerbate its symptoms.

Association with mental illnesses

Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder, antisocial personality disorder, and borderline personality disorder are often associated with pathological lying. People with narcissistic personality disorder may lie to build themselves up, whereas those with antisocial personality disorder may lie to manipulate and control others.

Borderline personality disorder may cause individuals to engage in impulsive and erratic behavior which can result in lies.

Can you have a successful relationship with a pathological liar?

It is possible to have a successful relationship with a pathological liar, but it may require a lot of work, patience, and professional help to achieve. Trust is a crucial component of any successful relationship, and a pathological liar may have difficulty establishing and maintaining trust.

To make a relationship succeed with a pathological liar, both parties should focus on open communication and honesty. The pathological liar must acknowledge their behavior, seek therapy, and work towards building a more positive relationship.

Forgiveness is also necessary, as rebuilding trust can require time and effort. How do you trust again after being lied to?

Regaining trust in someone who has lied to you can take a lot of time and effort. It’s important to communicate openly and honestly about the mistrust and work together to rebuild it.

Here are some tips to help you regain trust:

1. Set boundaries: Be clear about what behaviors are not acceptable to you and establish boundaries to prevent them from happening again.

2. Communicate openly: It’s important to talk about your feelings and concerns with your partner.

Let them know how their lies impacted you and what it will take to earn your trust back. 3.

Seek professional help: If the lies are a symptom of an underlying mental health issue, encourage your partner to seek therapy to work through their issues. 4.

Observe their behavior: Watch for consistency in their actions. If they lie or break promises again, it may be time to reassess the relationship.

5. Be patient: Rebuilding trust takes time and requires both parties to be committed to the process.

Be patient and willing to work together towards a positive outcome.


Pathological lying can be a challenging behavior to cope with, but it’s important to remember that it’s often a symptom of a larger issue. It’s crucial to focus on your mental health and well-being while dealing with a pathological liar.

Talk to your partner about their behavior, encourage professional help, and understand the underlying causes. With patience and understanding, it is possible to build a relationship with a pathological liar.

Additionally, regaining trust after being lied to requires open communication, patience, and a willingness to work together towards building trust again. At its core, pathological lying is about deceit and misinformation.

Living in a world of lies can be an agonizing experience, especially for loved ones who have a hard time trusting the pathological liar. However, there may be some rare cases where a better ending is possible.

The agony of living in a world of lies

Living in a world of lies can be distressing and frustrating. It can cause individuals to question their judgment, feel insecure about themselves, and struggle with anxiety.

Pathological liars often inflict harm and cause emotional pain to those around them. Many loved ones of pathological liars feel betrayed, angry, and confused.

Furthermore, in some situations, pathological lying may have legal or financial implications. For instance, an individual may face legal consequences for making false statements under oath or may face a lawsuit for fraud or deceit.

What’s more, pathological lying’s impact extends beyond a person’s immediate relationships. For instance, lying in a professional setting may lead to a loss of reputation and credibility.

In some severe cases, it may mean a loss of employment.

Rare cases of a better ending

While the impact of pathological lying can be severe, there may be some instances where individuals can overcome this behavior. With professional help and an openness to change, pathological liars can start to make progress towards being truthful.

Here are a few examples of how individuals can work towards overcoming pathological lying:

1. Acknowledge the problem: Pathological liars may be unaware of their behavior or may refuse to acknowledge it.

Acknowledging the problem is the first step towards change. 2.

Seek professional help: The underlying causes of pathological lying are often related to mental health. Seeking the help of a therapist can help individuals work through any underlying condition that contributes to the behavior.

3. Practice honesty: Individuals who struggle with pathological lying can start by being honest in small ways, such as admitting when they’re wrong or acknowledging the truth in a situation.

4. Establish trust: Individuals need to rebuild trust with those around them, particularly those who have been affected by their behavior.

They can do this by communicating openly and following through on promises. 5.

Avoid situations that promote lying: Pathological liars should identify situations where they’re likely to lie and work to avoid them.

Bottom line

Pathological lying is a complex and often harmful behavior that can have a significant impact on individuals and those around them. However, with the right help, pathological liars can start to overcome this behavior and work towards being honest and trustworthy.

It’s important to acknowledge the issue, seek professional help, practice honesty, establish trust, and avoid situations that promote lying. While there may not always be a positive outcome, there is hope for those willing to make a change.

In conclusion, pathological lying is a complex behavior that can have a significant impact on individuals and their relationships. While the root cause of pathological lying is not entirely known, it’s often associated with underlying mental health disorders.

Rebuilding trust, regaining confidence, and establishing communication are key steps in dealing with pathological lying. Acknowledging the impact and seeking professional help can lead to a positive outcome and a willingness to make necessary changes.

By understanding its causes, recognizing its impact, and taking proactive steps, individuals and their loved ones can work together towards a more honest, fulfilling relationship.

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