The Mating Grounds

Sex with a Narcissist: Warning Signs and Red Flags to Watch Out For

Are you feeling sex-deprived? Is your partner giving you the attention you crave in bed but make you feel empty and lacking?

You might be dealing with a narcissist. Narcissism is a personality disorder where people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others.

And it can have serious consequences in the bedroom. In this article, well explore the signs of sex with a narcissist and the narcissistic traits you may encounter in bed.

Recognizing Narcissistic Traits in a Partner

The first step to spotting a narcissistic partner is learning how to recognize their behaviors. Narcissists love themselves and demand admiration constantly.

They can be charming and attractive, making you feel lucky to have them in your life. However, they often have an abrasive personality that turns off others.

Narcissists want to be the center of attention and will manipulate situations to gain control. They may be jealous or possessive and refuse to listen to or empathize with your needs or feelings.

Good Sex as Part of Love Bombing

A narcissist will often charm you with mind-blowing sex as part of their initial love-bombing. They’ll often shower you with expensive gifts, sweet-talking, and acting as an enthusiastic partner about pleasure during the early stage of the relationship to cement their admiration-seeking motives.

While the attention is nice, you must know that it’s a form of manipulation. It’s important to keep your guard up and watch out for any red flags.

Focus on Pleasuring Partner to Prove Own Greatness

Once a narcissist has gotten you in bed, they may become obsessed with pleasuring you. While they may seem excited to make you feel good, this is often about proving themselves as great lovers while ignoring their partner’s needs.

It’s a selfish act that should not be confused with genuine concern or care for the other person. If your partner is hell-bent on pleasing you instead of enjoying the moment together, it may be time to reassess the relationship.

Obsession with Being Center of Attention during Sex

If your partner demands to be the center of attention during sex, they could be a narcissist. They might insist on controlling the situation, following their itinerary, and ignoring your needs.

This behavior can frustrate, leading to sexual tension and dissatisfaction, diminishing the vital connection that sex provides. If you notice that your partner doesnt want to engage in any physical activity that isn’t about them, consider it a red flag.

Refusal to Reciprocate or Consider Partner’s Satisfaction

It’s typical for two partners to reciprocate and switch roles during sex. It’s an essential bonding tool that allows intimacy to grow and mature.

However, narcissistic partners refuse to do so. They want complete control of the situation and ignore your needs, only taking what they want from you.

It’s like they’re only concerned about showing off their sexual prowess and gaining yet another accomplishment.

Using Guilt or Force to Pressure Partner into Sex

Coercion, in any form, is wrong. Narcissists, however, don’t understand boundaries and don’t care to do so.

A narcissist partner might pressure and force you into sexual intercourse, making you feel guilty if you don’t comply. This kind of behavior is damaging and can leave long-lasting traumatic experiences.

It’s paramount to stand up for yourself and say no.

Withholding Sex as a Tool for Control and Gaslighting

Withholding sex is a common form of control by narcissistic partners. They use it as a tool to discipline or punish their significant other, often to manipulate situations into getting what they want.

These tactics are usually signs that your partner is a master manipulator. It’s essential to recognize gaslighting, learn about effective communication, and exercise boundaries for your wellbeing.

Using Degrading Sex Acts as a Means to Control Partner

If your partner is always pushing your limits, forcing you, or belittling you when you refuse, it may be a sign that they are a narcissist. Degrading sex acts are about demeaning the partner, mainly when they refuse to comply.

It’s a devious way of gaining control by making you fear missing out on the pleasure or losing the relationship entirely.

Pressuring Partner to Have Sex Early in Relationship

Narcissists often pressure their partners to have sex early in a relationship to maintain control. The goal of a narcissist is to enter the relationship quickly, claim their territorial spot, and ensure that their partner doesn’t stray.

By making unique experiences, building a dependence, and skyrocketing the affection, the narcissist manipulates their partner to give in sooner than they want to.


In conclusion, dealing with a narcissistic partner requires learning how to recognize the signs and being cautious in the bedroom. Keep watch for the red flags, and if necessary, know when to walk away.

If you feel like your partner doesnt prioritize your needs or is focused on their fulfillment only, its time for a conversation. Remember, sex is about creating a bond and being intimate with your partner.

Anyone obsessed with only their pleasure misses the point. Hold yourself in high esteem, understand that you deserve better, and make conscious choices concerning your body and relationships.

When it comes to relationships, narcissists use their charming personality to entice potential partners. They hide negative traits and red flags until they hook the person, and then their manipulative and controlling behavior sets in.

They use sex as a tool to control and dominate their partner. In this article, well explore how narcissists use sex to control their partners and the various tactics they employ.

Narcissists Hide Themselves and Red Flags until Hooking Partner

Narcissists are masters of hiding their true personality and red flags until they have ensnared their partners. They know what their potential partner wants to hear and what traits to present to appear attractive.

Narcissists may use a combination of love bombing, exaggerated promises, and sexual attention to lure their partner into a relationship. Once they have the partner’s trust and love, they slowly begin to show their true colors.

Narcissists Use Sex as a Tool for Control and Dominance

In many cases, sex is the primary way that narcissists in relationships exert control over their partners. Narcissists view their partners as objects and feel entitled to their partners’ bodies.

They use sex as a weapon and are focused on their own pleasure, ignoring their partner’s needs. The sexual encounters become a battleground for control, and the narcissist aggressively tries to dominate the partner.

Partner Convinces You Red Flags Are in Your Head

Narcissistic gaslighting is a tactic that leaves victims feeling confused, vulnerable, and second-guessing themselves. The narcissistic partner convinces their victim that the red flags they recognize aren’t valid.

The victim begins to feel like the problem is with them, theyre being too touchy, or that theyre misinterpreting their partner’s behavior. The partner will say that what their victim is feeling and experiencing is all in their head.

Narcissist Pouts or Sulks When Refused Sex or Specific Sexual Acts

When a partner refuses sex or specific sexual acts, the narcissistic partner becomes upset. They may pout or sulk, which is a way of trying to manipulate their partner into changing their mind.

Narcissistic partners use emotional manipulation and guilt-tripping to get what they want, and their partner’s desires and boundaries are ignored.

Withholding Sex after Arguments or Being Refused Something

Narcissistic partners like to use sex as a bargaining chip. They’ll hold it back after an argument or when they don’t get what they want.

It’s a form of punishment that leaves the victim feeling rejected and isolated. This withholding of sex can be a way to gain control and reestablish dominance.

Using Degrading Sex Acts as a Means to Control Partner

Degrading sex acts are a common control tactic that narcissistic partners use. They force their partners into rough sex or control the situation, causing the victim to feel degraded and humiliated.

Narcissistic partners may use the threat of public humiliation or infidelity to coerce their partner into doing something sexually that they’re uncomfortable with.

Pressuring Partner to Have Sex Early in Relationship

Narcissistic partners also pressure their partners into having sex early in a relationship. They want to establish control quickly and prevent their partner from feeling like they can back out.

The pressure to have sex early on can come in the form of constant nagging, belittling, and making the partner feel guilty for the lack of intimacy.


Narcissistic partners use sex to control and dominate their partners by feeling entitled to their partners’ bodies and ignoring their needs and desires. They manipulate situations, use emotional manipulation and guilt-tripping, and withhold sex or use it as a bargaining chip.

It’s essential to recognize the signs of controlling and abusive behavior and remove yourself from these situations. Seek help and support to heal from the trauma caused by the narcissistic partner and remember that you’re not alone.

In conclusion, understanding the signs of narcissistic behavior in relationships is essential for recognizing and avoiding unhealthy dynamics. Narcissists may present themselves as charming and loving, but their true nature reveals itself in their controlling behavior in the bedroom.

Their focus on their own pleasure and lack of regard for their partner’s needs can have serious consequences for the relationship’s health. Recognizing the signs of manipulation, emotional abuse and setting boundaries are crucial steps in preventing narcissistic abuse.

Remember that you’re worthy of love and respect, and do not settle for anything less.

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