Should You Be Friends with Your Ex? 10 Reasons and What to Do


Can You Be Friends With Your Ex?

Hey there,

Breaking up with someone can be an incredibly difficult experience. So when your ex says they want to be friends, it can feel like a glimmer of hope in an otherwise dark and emotional time.

But what does it really mean when an ex wants to be friends? And what should you do?

Reasons Why Your Ex Wants to Be Friends

  1. They want to keep you as a backup: This is not a healthy reason to be friends. Your ex is keeping you around as a potential dating pool in case things don’t work out with anyone else.

  2. They aren’t certain about the breakup decision: Your ex may still have feelings for you and isn’t sure if they made the right decision to end things.

  3. Your ex is in denial of the breakup: They’re finding it hard to accept that it’s over, and want to hold onto some semblance of a relationship.

  4. Your ex wants to keep the peace: This could be the case if you have mutual friends or work together. It’s an attempt to avoid awkwardness.

  5. Your ex wants to be ‘friends with benefits’: This means that they still want intimacy with you, but don’t want a committed relationship.

  6. They don’t know what they want right now: This may be a case of confusion or feeling lost. They have feelings for you, but aren’t sure if they want to be in a relationship.

  7. They want to absolve themselves of any guilt: This is a self-serving reason. Your ex just wants to ease their own pain and guilt, even at the expense of your emotions.

  8. You offer financial or social benefits: This is a manipulative reason, and not a healthy basis for anything. Your ex is using you for their own narcissistic gratification.

  9. They genuinely value you as a friend: This is a healthy reason for wanting to remain friends. Your ex values you as a person outside of the romantic relationship.

  10. They regret breaking up: This is a sign of possible reconciliation, but don’t jump to conclusions just yet.

What To Do If Your Ex Wants To Be Friends

  1. Evaluate what they really want: It’s important to have clarity on what your ex’s motives are for wanting to be friends. Ask questions and have open communication.

  2. Don’t fear the friend zone: If you go into this with the mindset that being friends is a bad thing, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Being friends can be a great thing, but not if it’s used as a way for your ex to manipulate you emotionally.

  3. Take space if you’re hurt: Don’t feel pressured to be friends right away if you’re still hurting. It’s important to prioritize your own emotional well-being and take all the time you need in order to heal.

  4. Agree to be friends just to test your ex: This may sound manipulative, but it’s important to make sure that your ex has genuine intentions of being friends before investing too much emotional energy into it.

  5. Get yourself back in the dating pool: You don’t have to jump into a new relationship, but taking a step back into the dating world can give you a fresh perspective and help you move on from the past.

  6. Don’t let your ex leave you hanging in emotional limbo: It’s important to establish clear boundaries and not let your ex control the situation or leave things vague. Make sure you’re both on the same page about what being friends means and what each of you wants.

In conclusion, being friends with an ex can be a great thing if it’s done for the right reasons. Be honest with yourself about your motives, evaluate what your ex really wants, and prioritize your own emotional wellbeing. And if being friends isn’t the best thing for you, don’t be afraid to walk away.

You deserve to be in a healthy, fulfilling relationship.

Related Questions

Hey again, So, we’ve talked about the reasons why your ex might want to be friends and what you can do if they do. But what about some related questions that might be on your mind?

Can You Be Friends With Your Ex and Get Back Together?

It’s not impossible, but it’s important to keep in mind that being friends with an ex can be a temporary arrangement that provides an opportunity for re-evaluation. A period of distance might be best first.

If you’re both open to the possibility of getting back together, being friends can give you a chance to see if you truly have a future. However, it’s important to proceed with caution and make sure that you’re both on the same page about what you want.

If you’re still holding out hope for a reconciliation and your ex is not, continuing to be just friends can be heart-wrenching.

Is It Healthy to Keep in Touch With an Ex?

This depends on the individual and the circumstances. For some people, keeping in touch with an ex can be emotionally healthy and help provide closure. For others, it can be a constant reminder of the grief and pain that comes with a breakup.

If keeping in touch with your ex is causing you emotional distress, it may be time to consider distancing yourself or cutting ties altogether.

Why Shouldn’t You Be Friends With Your Ex?

One reason is that being friends with an ex can be like an emotional blanket that stops you from moving on from the relationship. Being friends can cause confusion as to what is really going on between the two of you.

Additionally, staying friends with an ex solely for financial or social benefits is not a healthy reason to remain friends. It’s best to cut ties and move on with your life.

Should You Be Friends With Your Ex If You Want Them Back?

If you’re looking to get back together with your ex, being friends can provide you both with an informal re-evaluation period to assess your feelings towards each other and to give some time to heal from the past. That being said, it’s important to take the time to think about your own feelings and what you really want before jumping into any decisions.

A period of time to create some distance will help you gain clarity on the situation and remove some uncertainties that might come with the situation.

In conclusion, being friends with an ex can be a complex situation and it’s essential to think about these kinds of questions before making any decisions.

Being honest with yourself is the most important thing, and following your instincts will guide you down the path that’s most healthy and right for yourself.

Overall, being friends with an ex can be a complicated, but potentially positive aspect to a breakup. It’s essential to evaluate the reasons behind your ex’s desire to be friends and be honest about what it means for you. While being friends with an ex can provide comfort and closure, it’s important to prioritize your own emotional health and well-being.

Moving on from a relationship can be challenging, but if you take things one step at a time and are true to yourself, you’ll find your way towards healing and self-discovery. Ultimately, the decision to remain friends with an ex, or not, is yours.

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