When it comes to relationships, we all want to feel loved, supported, and understood. We hope that we’ve found someone who is our “perfect match” – someone who shares our values and dreams, and who we just can’t get enough of.
But sometimes, despite our best efforts, a relationship just doesn’t work out. It’s important to recognize the warning signs and accept that not all relationships are meant to be, no matter how hard we try.
Here are some signs that your relationship might not be meant to be:
Laborious or Exhausting Effort
Relationships should be a place where you can thrive and grow together, a source of joy and simplicity, and a natural flow of events. A relationship shouldn’t feel like constant work, like you’re fighting an uphill battle, or like you’re always trying to fix something that’s broken.
If you feel like being with your partner is a chore or you can’t seem to get on the same page about anything, it may be a sign that it’s time to reevaluate your relationship.
Uphill Battle
In a healthy relationship, you’ll encounter problems and disagreements from time to time. Still, you should generally be happy and working towards a happy ending – with each other’s support.
If the relationship feels like a constant struggle that will never have a happy ending, then it may be time to reconsider things.
Purpose and Alignment
You and your partner should share similar goals, needs, and values. You should be supportive of each other and help each other grow.
If you feel like you and your partner are no longer working towards the same things, or if your needs and skills are too different to truly be met, then it may be a sign that your relationship isn’t meant to be. But these are just three of many warning signs that your relationship isn’t meant to be.
Let’s explore more in-depth.
Routine Disagreements or Arguments
Every relationship will have disagreements and arguments from time to time. However, if routine bickering takes up more of your relationship communication than positive reinforcement or passionate discussions, that’s something to take notice of.
Figure out if the disagreements stem from a lack of understanding or a lack of deeper care.
Dislike for Each Other
Love and strong dislike may be two sides of the same coin, but there’s a definite line between them. If you and your partner can’t stand to be around each other or avoid each other at all costs, something has likely changed.
It’s important to investigate why that might be.
Listening is not a Team Sport
Respect is essential in a relationship, perhaps even more so than love itself. If one or both of you don’t show attention, consideration, or mutual support, that lack of respect can turn into disrespect and then contempt for each other.
It’s important to communicate boundaries and needs in order to craft a healthy relationship.
Social Media is a Relationship Advisory
Social media can serve both good and bad roles in a relationship. It’s an added layer of communication and can be a place of shared interests.
However, many couples fall into the trap of third-party validation or posturing. If your relationship requires a social media advisory to be good or runs into trouble on this front, it may be time to rethink how you’re engaging with each other.
Hot Start and Fizzling Out
Lust and infatuation are strong feelings, but they cannot be the basis of a lasting relationship. They can feel superficial or fleeting.
It’s OK to begin a relationship like this, however, it’s important to look into what commonality or shared interests that kept you both together in the first place.
End of Honeymoon Phase
It’s normal for people in a relationship to develop emotional quirks, complexities, and commitments. It’s okay that butterflies in your stomach have gone.
It’s important to ask if the commitment feels genuine or if it’s there simply because of habit or societal expectations.
One Person Carries the Load
You should be a team, and you should carry your weight. If one partner is constantly caving and making concessions or another partner is always inconsiderate and disrespectful, it’s important to see the larger issue at play.
Criticism or Complaints are Routine
As relationships develop, our self-confidence may fluctuate. However, healthy criticism should be a sign of love and reciprocity, not praise or demotion.
If your partner’s complaints or criticisms become routine, you may be in an unhealthy dynamic that can detriment both of you.
Controlling Behavior
Control, in any form, is a detrimental part of a relationship. It’s abusive, toxic, and dangerous.
It’s important to look at the causes of this behavior and figure out what one’s triggers are. It’s essential to safely create an exit plan if the relationship becomes a physical or emotional threat.
Financial Imbalance
Discussing finances is the crucible of any relationship. It’s important to have open conversations about earnings and expenses.
If the difference in finances makes it difficult to fairly distribute bills, to travel, or engage in activities, it’s important to figure out what each of you wants from the relationship and make sure that desires are aligned.
Socialite and Homebody
It’s normal to have differing opinions, likes, dislikes, and hobbies. But relationships, at their core, should be about compromises.
If your partner wants to socialize and you prefer a quieter night at home, it’s important to explore how to reach the middle ground.
Long-Distance Love
Long-distance relationships can be a warning sign at times. Physical interactions are essential between partners.
It’s important to know the warning signs of a healthy long-distance relationship, such as shared interests and becoming comfortable with learning each other’s daily lives.
Married in a Month
People fall in love quickly, and what might feel like an authentic relationship might not be presented as the ideal mate. A commitment should involve an authentic version of each other.
Marriage is a long term commitment and should be considered with extreme care and thought.
Incompatible Opinions
It’s important to remember differences in opinions are natural. However, it’s important to respect each other’s opinions and debate respectfully and without resorting to due personal attacks.
It’s important to not only strike up differences in interests, but similarities should be celebrated.
Apologies are Not a Suggestion
A healthy relationship requires taking an honest look at ourselves and apologizing when it’s due. However, if either person is constantly making excuses or not shouldering responsibility in their apologies, it can show a lack of care and consideration and break down the overall health of the relationship.
Time Together is an Afterthought
A healthy relationship requires making time for each other. It’s important to establish priorities, alone time, date night scheduling.
It’s okay to cancel plans once in a while, but if spending time together becomes an afterthought, then it’s time to reevalute the relationship.
Incompatible in the Bedroom
Sex is an essential part of a meaningful relationship. If the bond shared between a couple through intimacy is not satisfying or one partner is uncomfortable at being vulnerable, there may be a larger issue at play.
It’s important to see if there are commonality in sharing fetishes and kinks and practicing safe communication around it.
Family and Close Friends are not on Board
Disapproval or discomfort can be warning signs in any relationship. It’s important to talk with family and friends that voice conflicts about how to handle their discomfort.
Ultimately, it’s your decision, but getting their perspective can bring to light any potential issues.
Jealousy Rears its Head
Jealousy and insecurity between partners is common. Conflicting emotions arise when one partner may be seen as more attractive.
But it’s important to make sure that feelings of insecurity don’t turn into blaming or controlling behavior.
Lies or Secrets
Without trust, honesty, and transparency, the bond in the relationship can break down. It’s normal to have secrets between each other, but living life behind walls of falsehoods or hiding parts of your life can erode a long-term relationship.
Trying Again and Again
Closure isn’t a gesture that’s earned: it’s a painstaking process that’s pursued. Communication and active listening is important for building a healthy relationship.
If there is a general feeling that things won’t work out, it’s important to find that respectful closure. In order to do so, we must practice good communication and actively listen to both ourselves and our partners.
Conclusion
Relationships can be complicated and messy, but healthy relationships usually boil down to simple factors: mutual respect, communication, trust, and having each other’s best interests at heart. Sometimes, it’s hard to admit that a relationship isn’t meant to be or won’t work out.
But by paying attention to the warning signs and having the courage and clarity to seek out healthy relationships in the future, we can find the love and support we crave. In conclusion, recognizing when a relationship is not meant to be can be a painful but necessary step towards finding the love and support we need in life.
From routine disagreements to financial imbalance and lies or secrets, there are a myriad of warning signs that can indicate a relationship is not headed in the right direction. By paying attention to these signs and engaging in healthy communication and active listening, we can create happier, healthier, and more fulfilling relationships in the future.
Remember, it’s okay to let go of something that isn’t working out because it clears the path toward something that will.
