The Awkward Side of Sex
Embarrassing Incidents
Hey there! Let’s admit it: sex can be amazing, but it can also be… awkward. We’ve all had those moments that made us cringe a little bit, or even laugh out loud. But it’s time to face those moments head-on and talk about them openly.
In this article, we’re going to discuss some of the awkward and slightly painful (but completely normal) experiences we might encounter in the bedroom. Ready?
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Queefing – Ladies, we all know what this is. You’re getting hot and heavy, and all of a sudden, air escapes from your vagina. It’s completely normal and harmless, but it can definitely kill the mood. And guys, let’s be cool about it. Don’t make a big deal out of it.
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Farting – It’s not just queefing that can ruin the moment. If you’re trying out a new position or letting go of some inhibitions, there’s always a risk of a fart slipping out. It happens. Just apologize, laugh it off, and move on.
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Beer burp – If you’ve had a little too much to drink before getting busy, the alcohol can cause some unwanted gas bubbles. Keep a glass of water by the bed and take a sip before letting out a burp. Problem solved.
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Hair in unlikely places – Sometimes, hair just seems to appear out of nowhere. You’re kissing your partner’s neck, and suddenly you’re caught in a tangle. Take a deep breath, untangle yourself, and keep going.
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Wet spot – It’s not the most glamorous thing in the world, but hey, when you’re having a good time, bodily fluids happen. Just throw a towel down before you get started, and you’ll be prepared for any unexpected wet spots.
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Talking dirty – Dirty talk can be a huge turn-on, but it’s not for everyone. If you’re not feeling it, don’t force yourself to talk dirty just because you think you’re supposed to. And if you’re trying it out for the first time, start small. Maybe just a few whispered words in your partner’s ear. See how it goes.
Oral Fiascos
Oral sex is an intimate and incredibly pleasurable experience. But it can also have its fair share of awkward moments.
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Hair floss – This one applies to both men and women. If you have long hair, it can easily get in the way during oral sex. Guys, make sure to keep your hair tied back if you have a man bun or longer hair. Ladies, tie your hair up in a bun or ponytail if it’s long, too. It’ll make things so much easier.
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Choking – If you’re giving oral sex, there’s always a risk of choking. Make sure to communicate with your partner if you’re feeling uncomfortable or need to take a break. And if you’re receiving oral sex, be aware of your partner’s comfort level and make sure they’re not choking or gagging.
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Cotton strands – If you’re wearing cotton underwear during oral sex, there’s a chance that the fabric can get pulled apart and leave behind little strands. It’s not harmful, and it’s easily fixable. Just pick off any stray pieces and keep going.
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Funky smell – Let’s be real. Sometimes, things don’t smell so great down there. It happens to everyone, and it doesn’t mean you’re dirty or unclean. If you’re concerned about smells, take a shower before sex and use mild soap to clean up.
The Slightly Painful
Chaffing
If your skin is rubbing against your partner’s skin for an extended period of time, chaffing can become a problem. This is especially true if you or your partner have sensitive skin.
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Dry phase – When the body is wet, it’s more susceptible to chaffing. Take a break from sex and allow your skin to dry before continuing.
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Lube – Lube can help reduce friction and prevent chaffing. Use a water-based or silicone-based lube to keep things slippery and comfortable.
Limbs Akimbo
Have you ever tried to move your arm or leg, only to find that it’s completely tangled with your partner’s? It’s a common problem when you’re trying out new positions or getting a little too enthusiastic.
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Awkward entanglement – If your limbs are all tangled up, take a deep breath and figure out the best way to untangle yourselves. You might need to take a break from sex for a moment to rearrange your limbs.
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Communication – If you’re starting to feel uncomfortable or like you can’t move, communicate with your partner. Let them know that you need to adjust your position or untangle yourselves.
In conclusion, sex can be amazing and fulfilling, but it can also have its awkward and painful moments. Remember that these things happen to everyone, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Just keep communication open with your partner, be prepared for anything, and don’t take things too seriously. Happy sexy times!
The Horribly, Horribly Wrong
Hey there! We’ve talked about some of the awkward and slightly painful moments that can happen during sex, but now it’s time to dive into some of the situations that can go horribly, horribly wrong.
Warning: these stories may be a little graphic, so be prepared.
Period Sex
Let’s start off with a topic that many people feel uncomfortable talking about: period sex. Some people love it, while others aren’t interested. Either way, it’s important to be aware of the risks and challenges that come with it.
One of the biggest challenges with period sex is menstrual cramps. For some people, the contractions of their uterus during orgasm can actually help alleviate cramps. But for others, the movement and stimulation can make cramps worse. If you’re someone who experiences severe menstrual cramps, it might be best to avoid sex during your period.
But what about orgasms during your period? Many people report having earth-shattering orgasms during this time of the month. There’s actually a scientific reason for this: the increased blood flow to your genital area during your period can make orgasms more intense. So, if you’re willing to brave the mess, period sex could be worth it. Just make sure to communicate with your partner and use protection, as the risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can be higher during menstruation.
Lock Jaw
Next up, let’s talk about a nightmare scenario: lock jaw. This can happen when one partner’s jaw gets stuck open while giving oral sex. It might sound like an urban legend, but it’s a very real condition that can land you in the hospital.
One possible cause of lock jaw is a condition called temporomandibular joint (TMJ) disorder, which affects the hinge joint that connects your jaw to your skull. If you have TMJ disorder, you might experience pain, clicking or popping sounds, or difficulty opening your jaw. Another cause of lock jaw during sex is involuntary muscle contraction. This can happen when your muscles get too tense, or if you’re holding your jaw open for too long.
So, what do you do if you or your partner experiences lock jaw during sex? The first step is to try to relax your muscles as much as possible. Sometimes, taking a break from oral sex for a few minutes is all it takes to release the tension. If that doesn’t work, you might need to seek medical attention. In severe cases, a doctor may need to manually unlock your jaw or even perform surgery to correct the problem.
Penis Captivus
Okay, this one sounds like a joke, but we promise it’s not. Penis captivus is a rare condition where the muscles in a woman’s vagina involuntarily contract and trap the penis inside. It’s the stuff of nightmares. Don’t worry, though. This condition is incredibly rare, and it usually resolves on its own within a few minutes. It’s still a good idea to communicate with your partner and seek medical attention if you can’t separate after a few minutes.
Penile Fracture
Finally, let’s talk about perhaps the most serious (and painful) situation on this list: penile fracture. It’s exactly what it sounds like – a fracture in the erectile cylinders of the penis, usually caused by aggressive sex or trauma.
Symptoms of a penile fracture can include a popping sound, severe pain, swelling, and difficulty getting an erection. It’s important to seek medical attention right away if you experience these symptoms, as penile fractures can lead to long-term complications like erectile dysfunction. The good news is that penile fractures are relatively rare. The best way to prevent them is to take things slow and communicate with your partner about what feels good and what doesn’t. If you do experience a penile fracture, know that recovery is possible with medical treatment.
In conclusion, sex can be amazing and fulfilling, but it’s important to be aware of the risks and challenges that come with it. From period sex to penile fractures, there are plenty of situations that can go horribly, horribly wrong. But the key is to communicate with your partner, take things slow, and seek medical attention when needed. Happy (and safe) sexy times!
In conclusion, this article has touched on a variety of topics related to sex and intimacy, from the awkward and slightly painful moments to the more serious and potentially dangerous situations that can occur. By talking about these experiences openly and honestly, we can gain a better understanding of our bodies and our limits. It’s important to remember to communicate with our partners, be aware of potential risks, and seek medical attention if necessary. But ultimately, sex should be a fulfilling and enjoyable experience, and by being informed and prepared, we can make sure it stays that way.
